Apr 10 2015

A love declaration

As promised in Expressions of love, I’ll compare how Candy expressed her feelings towards three important men in her life, in the manga and/or Candy Candy Final Story (CCFS).

Candy’s first crush was Prince on the Hill, and because Anthony had a shocking resemblance to her mysterious prince, Candy fell in love at first sight with Anthony. In CCFS, when Candy first saw Anthony by the rose gate, she was so astonished that she called him “prince”. One day, this fifteen-year-old young man brought this up, and he frankly asked if she liked him because he looked like the prince in her heart. She blurted out,


She confessed impulsively, telling him that she liked him as Anthony himself. Here she used the words “suki” and “dai-suki” for emphasis (see highlighted words above). Then Candy ran away, leaving Anthony behind. After a flabbergasted moment, he murmured his feelings for Candy to himself, using “suki” and “dai-suki” as well. 🙂

Candy Candy Vol 02 p1085

This is similar to the manga scene shown here. Candy had unintentionally confessed her feelings, and as she fled the scene in embarrassment, her heart pounded like a drum. To her, Anthony was dazzling (まぶしい), and she said:


Candy used “suki” to express her love for Anthony. Since the manga was for young girls, Chinese words (kanji) were not always used. Anyway, here Candy claimed:

I love Anthony… more than anyone, I love Anthony…

Do you know that, in the manga, Candy used the same adjective “dazzling” when she inwardly admired Terry in Scotland? Remember when she realized that he really liked Shakespeare’s works? Under the bright sun, he looked dazzling to her.

Hence, we readers understand that she began to fall for him at that moment. 🙂

However, as far as I know, Candy was never able to verbally express her love to Terry. 🙁

In the manga, the first time she realized her true feelings for him was when she arrived at the Port of Southampton too late. Terry had already gone. She sadly cried out in her mind that she loved him, using the word “suki” (highlighted below):

あなたがすき! テリィ……

Likewise, in CCFS, when Candy was rushing to the harbor, she prayed inside the carriage that she would have a chance to tell Terry how much she loved him. Her prayer was:


She said “suki” twice (the kanji highlighted above), and for the second one she stressed her feelings by using totemo (とても) repeatedly, meaning she loved him very, very much.

It’s a known fact that Candy decided to quit school afterwards, without consulting anybody. In CCFS, rather than explaining to her adoptive father in a letter why she had to leave London in a rush, she chose to write all her feelings down in her diary, a gift from Uncle William. Candy wrote the following about her love for Terry (using “dai-suki”):


Here, Candy wrote that she really loved Terry, more than anyone else. Sounds familiar? Yes, it’s quite similar to what she had thought about Anthony earlier (shown in the manga scene above).

After that, she left a note on top of her diary for Uncle William so that he could understand her by simply reading her diary.

Many, many months later, after discovering who Albert really was, for some reason, Candy left Chicago and returned to Pony’s Home. I believe not long after she had moved back to the orphanage, she received an invitation letter from Terry’s mother, Miss Eleanor Baker (see Love Triangle (Part 3) for details). Candy cordially declined Miss Baker’s offer to see Terry’s performance as Hamlet. Then Candy also wrote a letter to Terry (not intending to send it though), and at the end, she added one more line:

P.S. テリィ…… 好きでした。

She wrote, “P.S. Terry… I loved you.”

Yes, Candy used past tense here. Compared to what she had written in her diary, her sentiment wasn’t as intense as it had been. Besides, she sounded much less emotional in this unsent letter (for more details of its content please read Love Trianlge (Part 2)). Undoubtedly, when Candy wrote this letter, Terry belonged to her past already. Gone was her passion for him. No wonder my friend QuevivaCandy calls this letter a “goodbye” letter. 😛

As a matter of fact, when I first got the CCFS novels in my hand, I was surprised that Candy only used “suki” in this letter to Terry. Didn’t Candy have the freedom to write in all honesty? I mean she wasn’t going to send it, so nobody would read it, right? 😉

So I thought Candy would have used the deep word “ai” (愛)  for Terry as in the famous manga scene attached in the post Second farewell. In that scene, Candy said in her mind that she used to love Terry (yes, past tense was used).

However, if I’m not mistaken, in CCFS, Candy had always used “suki” (好き) or “dai-suki” (大好き) for Terry and Anthony.

In that case, do you think Mizuki had changed her mind when writing CCFS? That Mizuki didn’t let Candy use the deep word “ai” (愛) for her teenage love for Terry? 🙄

As explained in Expressions of love, the word “ai” (愛) is not supposed to be used casually. Therefore, in CCFS, Candy had rarely used this heavy word “ai” (愛) except when she talked about Susanna’s love for Terry (in her recollections, in her unsent letter to Terry, etc.). Candy also mentioned “ai” (愛) in some places, but she had never said this deep word to anyone directly, except in her last letter to Albert in CCFS epilogue. 🙂

I have mentioned this particular letter in various posts already. It is filled with tender feelings and appreciation, and you can tell Candy was indeed happy when she wrote this letter to her prince, also known as Little Bert to her now. Not only that, she ended her letter this way:


This is a well known phrase from the CCFS spoilers, meaning, “with love and gratitude”. 🙂

Regrettably, the nuance is lost in translation. The phrase wokomete (をこめて) implies “with all”. For example, if the word “heart” is used instead of “love and gratitude”, the entire sentence is translated as “with all my heart” or simply “wholeheartedly”. If you like, please click the link for more examples.

Therefore, Candy essentially meant that she wrote this long letter with all her love (愛) and gratitude, to whom? To Prince on the hill, her first crush! 😀

Yet, a reader told me that some people brushed off its significance by saying that Candy used “ai” (愛) because Albert was her family (her adoptive father), but how do they explain why Candy had never written “ai” (愛) to Albert until now? 😉 Not to mention Candy used this word whenever she referred to Susanna’s love! Hence, using “ai” (愛) is not limited to family members only, and it implies a much deeper and broader sense of love.

In any case, my reader and I strongly believe that something must have happened that Candy was absolutely certain of Albert’s deep feelings for her (I will talk more about this in another post), and because of that, she mustered all her courage to respond to him by writing such a word of devotion in her letter to him. It was no less than a love declaration, don’t you think? 🙂 Don’t forget Albert had read Candy’s diary, and he was fully aware how she had described her love for Terry.

Last but not the least, I have a hunch this is one of the reasons why Candy said near the end of her love letter that she probably wouldn’t be able to sleep that night. I guess she was dying to know how Albert would react when he received her letter. I can almost imagine his shock. 😛

Now, isn’t it obvious who Anohito is? 😉


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    • Mina Ferarri on October 10, 2016 at 11:11 pm
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    I would like to know: in the CCFS which pages Muziki wrote that Candy want to come back with Terry together after her travel in New York? Thanks a lot!!

    1. No I don’t think it’s written anywhere in CCFS. On the contrary, Candy wrote that she was over Terry in her unsent letter. 😅

    • Quevivacandy on April 17, 2015 at 9:34 pm
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    Hey my friend, I will be short… hehehe I do not something to add, you explained it all so wonderful!

    I always have thought that she sensed something in their visit to Lakewood and that is why she say goodbye “with love and gratitude” and since then, they began their relationship. But now, after nowing she used AI, oh my! It should caused a huge impact on Albert!

    weee… I’m jumping for joy! weeeeeeeeee uuuuu lol…

    Anohito’s name begins with an A! yep, yep yep

    1. Yes I’m sure Albert couldn’t believe his eyes when he read this letter from Candy! Lol… Come to think of it, he was prepared to lose her when he had decided to give the diary back to her. Candy must be touched by his unconditional love, don’t you think? 😉

        • Luna on April 18, 2015 at 11:15 am
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        Dear Ms Puddle,
        I really like all your posts, sharings and explainations. Each time I ‘m learning a lot from you and thank very much. I ‘m reading all contributions from other friends here and believe me sometimes I ‘m seriously thinking that maybe what ever Candy lived in these stories actually was real. 🙂
        Anyway, I have a question to you which came to my mind. I would like to know that with which last name Candy was signing all these letters. Was it Candy White or Candy White Adley? Do you have some clues about this point? Maybe you have already explained this somewhere.
        Thanks and many greetings,

        1. You’re welcome, Luna! Nice to hear from you again 🙂

          Candy mostly used just ‘Candy’ for her close friends. She used her full name Candice W. Ardlay for people like Miss Baker or Sarah Leagan, etc. In her unsent letter to Terry, she used Tarzan Freckled, and one time she signed “Your beautiful adoptive daughter” to tease Albert, which upset him very much, lol.

            • Anonymous on April 18, 2015 at 3:13 pm
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            I see!Thank you very much for the answer.

              • Ms Puddle on April 18, 2015 at 3:51 pm

              You’re welcome 🙂

        • Quevivacandy on April 19, 2015 at 6:56 pm
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        Oh yes, I cannot agree with you more. Now, I feeling kind of lucky that in spanish there is no “ai” but “amor” which could be many things…. lol… if not, my story is fried… lol…

        my friend, I would like to ask you something else. You said in the novel Candy only used “ai” refering Susanna’s love for Terry and when she signed this specific letter to Albert. She used ‘suki’ or ‘dai-suki’ for Anthony and Terry. So in the ‘goodbye letter’ she also used suki, right? and yes, if she is not going to send that letter, why didn’t she use ‘ai’? ’cause she knew her feelings wasn’t that deep, I guess.

        That makes me wonder another thing, in the scene when they broke up in the hospital, in the stairs, she thinks something like “the man I love is crying”, what she uses there, ‘ai’ or ‘suki’. I guess it is suki but would be interesting to know what she says in the right moment of their break-up. Do you know?

        1. Yes dear QuevivaCandy, Candy simply used suki in her unsent letter to Terry. I was a bit surprised as I explained in my post. She probably realized her true feelings for Terry with hindsight? Who knows 😉

          You know, the Japanese manga I got from a friend’s friend is missing those important pages in the hospital… 🙁 I don’t know why. I wish I could find out. In CCFS, there are two places in which Candy talked about that snowy night: one was her unsent letter to Terry and the other was her recollection of Susanna’s suicidal attempt. Candy didn’t directly mention her feelings for Terry in both passages as far as I remember. I might double check it if you like. 🙂 She kept talking about Susanna’s “ai” for Terry though.

            • Quevivacandy on April 19, 2015 at 8:24 pm
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            I have a friend who says, at some point in manga, Candy used “ai” talking about Terry. So, that made wonder what CCFS says about it, specially in their break up.

            If you don’t mind, I will really appreciate it if you can check it. I guess I’m getting more than excited if she says something about it using ‘suki’ or even more, nothing at all… hehehe

              • Ms Puddle on April 19, 2015 at 8:47 pm

              Yes, QuevivaCandy dear, Candy did use the past tense of “ai” in the manga back in Rockstown after talking with Miss Baker.

              So as I said in my post, I believe Mizuki had changed that (diminished it) to “suki” in CCFS… Even in Candy’s diary she only used “suki” and “daisuki” (for emphasis). Remember in her unsent letter, she used … to avoid mentioning her feelings for Terry directly? Isn’t it funny she couldn’t even write it out until the very end when she added P.S. using “suki” in part tense? 😉

              I’ll double check and get back to you as soon as possible 🙂

    • Evelyn on April 14, 2015 at 10:10 am
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    Hi Ms Puddle. Yes, to me it is absolutely obvious who Anohito is! 😉 Candy reserved the use of the deep term “ai” for Albert only! I think is fascinating Mizuki’s well though out use-of-words and circumstances that in the end all point to Albert. As Candy Albert Andrew said, C&A’s relationship is definitely a romantic one!

    I think is brilliant when you point out that Candy used the term “ai” when addressing Susanna’s love for Terry; she gave Susanna’s deep love for Terry it’s rightful place. As CCFS progresses, she is only left with Albert where their feelings evolve for one another. It is a deep relationship full of trust and love for one another where there aren’t any secrets between them and in the end of the epilog Candy ends her letter to Albert with the word “ai”. Yes I think you are right! Why else would Candy not be able to sleep that night after such deep love declaration to Albert? 🙂

    1. Hola, Evelyn!! Yes, indeed, and I wonder why some people insist that love word (“ai”) in Candy’s letter to Albert didn’t really have any significance. That Candy still regarded him as her brother / father… Sigh!
      I totally agree with you that Susanna’s love to Terry was deep and true, no matter how much people hate her. She was the one who rescued Terry’s life, and without her courageous act at that critical moment, he could have been killed by the falling lamps! I think Terry knew that very well, and he owed her his life indeed. In fact, I’m glad that he kept his promise to her and stayed with her till her death.

      About Albert and Candy, their close friendship had evolved into romance as you said. It was only natural that they became soul mates in life. The way Candy wrote to her prince in that letter only proved that she was very much in love with him. After this love declaration, she must be desperate to know how he would respond to her… 😉 😛

        • Evelyn on April 14, 2015 at 4:36 pm
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        Unfortunately these people choose to have their own interpretation as they see fit. The story makes even more sense in Japanese but you have to have read the manga and have knowledge of the Novel and CCFS spoilers I feel. If your only knowledge of Candy comes from the anime then it is hard to see our side. About Candy loving Albert as a brother/father? Candy never treated Albert that way when they started living together. In fact Albert’s actions, although not spoken words, clearly indicated that he slowly fell in love with Candy when they lived together. Candy’s actions and sentiments toward Albert were the same. Not sure how to explain but Mizuki wrote this story by implying to the reader a logical outcome throughout the novel. It is not spelled out and if you follow the plot of the story one is able to conclude the ending which ends with Albert. Thank you for this great post! :p

        1. You’re so right about that, dear Evelyn. That people who have only watched the anime version might not be able to understand why. Sigh. I agree with you that both Candy and Albert might start out pretending to be siblings, but over time their feelings for each other evolved, which was natural.

          Recently, a song from Ed Sheeran “Thinking out loud” reminds me of A & C, that they found love right where they are. 😉

            • Evelyn on April 14, 2015 at 5:43 pm
            • Reply

            Just watched that video. How talented. Love it!!! C&A did find love right where they were! Thanks for sharing! 😛

              • Ms Puddle on April 14, 2015 at 6:13 pm

              I love that video too! It was well done, wasn’t it? Perhaps I should just share it on my blog 😉

            • Evelyn on April 14, 2015 at 7:17 pm
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            Yes it was. It would be nice for all to see 🙂

            • Reeka on April 14, 2015 at 8:30 pm
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            I love that song! 🙂 Yes yes … the lyric is simple, catchy, and showing pure love. A very rare one we have nowadays.

            ” .. how people fell in love in a mysterious way, maybe just the touch of the hand …”

            sounded like an amnesiac Albert fell in love with a beautiful kindhearted nurse.

            no, Ms Puddle, you shouldn’t just post the video and lyric, you should write a song-fic! You shouuuuulllldd! LOL 🙂

            SIgh. How I miss your story. I miss reading warmhearted Candy Albert fan fiction!

              • Ms Puddle on April 14, 2015 at 9:29 pm

              Thank you Reeka! I wish I had time to write a story, even a short one too… sigh! But songfic? Perhaps you can write one, my friend? 🙂

              Sure I will post this video plus lyrics then. I like it simply because the lyrics are simple yet very touching 😀

            • Evelyn on April 14, 2015 at 8:40 pm
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            Ha! So cute Reeka! 😉

            • Reeka on April 15, 2015 at 6:47 am
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            Hahahaha … you know how bad I am at writing down what’s inside my head, my friend!

            Well, Ed Sheeran writes beautiful lyrics. I love almost everything in his album. Beside Thinking Out Loud, I really love the one called Photograph.

              • Ms Puddle on April 15, 2015 at 9:03 am

              You never know until you try, Reeka! 🙂

              Ed Sheeran is indeed talented, and have you seen his performance in Grammy’s Award? It was great! I don’t buy albums, so I just listen to whatever’s on radio 😉 :O

  1. Candy and Albert relationship is definitively a romantic one. The Japanese word ハ ー ト (Heart) is pronounced Hato and バ ー ト (Bert) is Bato. In the epilogue of the novel CCFS, Albert signs a letter to Candy writing his nickname “Bert” and then, in her last letter to Abert, form the epilogue, Candy called him, in a very affectionate and intimately manner, ち っ ち ゃ な バ ー ト (Little Bert) which in English means little Bert, but it is very similar to ち っ ち ゃ な ハ ー ト (little heart / sweetheart). These affective nicknames or nicknames are also common among couples and lovers.

    1. Thank you so much for your insights, Candy Albert Andrew!
      I didn’t know that… I thought sweetheart was スイートハート 😛 😉
      But ちっちゃな バート is definitely a very affectionate way for Candy to call Albert, as I’ve already talked about in one of my earliest posts, Endearing Nickname. Thanks again for your valuable input, Candy Albert Andrew. Have a wonderful day! 🙂

    • Agnès on April 11, 2015 at 10:41 am
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    Hello Ladies,

    I won’t be redundant but I agree with all what you said!
    I just want to add some thoughts:
    – In the same letter she was very grateful to her parents for having abandoned her at Pony’s Home. Thanks to that she could meet him. I think it is very very strong, don’t you think? 😉
    – she spoke of her diary too, she didn’t open it as she wanted to keep her past with Terry buried, and she wanted to leave it to the care of Albert again. For me it was a sort of gift, a proof she really moved on because this diary was a symbol of her Terry’s past love. She really trusted in Albert to do that! The first time she gave it to Great Uncle William, they both knew that, and the second time she gave it to Albert, her Prince and it wasn’t the same signification!

    Well with the end of her letter “Love (ai) and gratitude“ we can put 2 and 2… she was in love and, yes! Anohito is Albert, no doubt for me! 😀

    Great weekend to all! 🙂

    1. Bonjour Agnès! Yes you’re absolutely right about what Candy said in the same letter! Since I’ve talked about this letter several times in the past, I didn’t want to repeat myself again. Also, I want to stay focused in this post by comparing Candy’s love expressions. 😉

      Yet, thank you for bringing up the point about Candy being grateful to her parents for abandoning her. I wonder if you have noticed, it’s the first time Candy had ever brought up this issue. 🙂 In the manga, Annie as a child was upset about being abandoned, but unlike Annie, Candy seemed to have accepted her fate with ease.

      Nonetheless, simply accepting the fact is still far from being grateful, don’t you think? 😉 Imagine Albert’s reaction to reading that… What an impact, right? I’ll discuss this in a different post.

      Yes, her diary. It’s a symbol of her love for Terry, and I totally agree with you that Candy decided to keep it buried in her past. Again, this is another topic for a post.

      In any case, it’s undeniable Candy was in love with her prince when writing this letter. I don’t understand why some people can be so blind… Sigh!

      You have a great weekend too, mon amie 🙂

    • Antlay on April 11, 2015 at 4:29 am
    • Reply

    Hello Ms Puddle

    Vous avez raison cette dernière lettre est une déclaration d’amour ! 😀
    Comme vous le dites Ms Puddle, Candy pense qu’elle ne va pas dormir en se demandant comment va réagir Albert.
    On a l’impression qu’elle a décidé enfin de refermer le chapitre Terry, en voulant restituer son journal à Albert, comme une preuve de son amour.
    Et puis dans le manga, elle utilise également le mot “éblouissant” pour Albert lorsqu’elle découvre sa véritable à Lakewood.
    J’ai lu quelque part que “petit bert”se prononçait et s’écrivait en japonais comme “petit coeur”, si cela est exact alors cela en dit long…
    Bon week-end my friend 😉

    1. Dear Antlay, bonjour! Yeah, this is a love letter indeed. As you said, it’s clear Candy had moved on and deliberately left Terry in her past by not touching her own diary. Oh, there’s a lot to talk about in this love letter.

      If I were Candy, I would be too nervous or anxious to sleep too… Wondering how Albert would react! She was in love with him for sure… Sigh.

      About the adjective Candy used to describe Albert, Agnès and Evelyn have brought it up before. You’re right about that in French and Spanish versions, but in Japanese, Candy didn’t use the same description. She said something like Albert’s figure was swaying in the bright light or something like that. The sunlight was bright, and she was shedding lots of tears.

      Bert and heart do sound much alike but not the same, Antlay. It’s a very interesting comparison though. 😉

      You have a wonderful weekend too, mon amie 🙂

    • Tiffany on April 10, 2015 at 6:10 pm
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    Hi Ms. Puddle,

    Great post 🙂 I dont know Japanese a lot so your posts really widen my Japanese knowledge here 😛 It is quite interesting how Japanese use the world “love” quite differently than Western culture.

    Back to the topic, I think the world love can be interpreted differently through different stages in one’s life and I think Mizuki try to incorporate this in Candy’s life. Mostly, we have puppy love, teenage love and true love in our life. Puppy love usually between the age of 10-15 (Candy met Anthony when she was 12 and he was 15 i think). Teenage love or young love usually around (16 – mid 20 ) or so , which I think matches with Terry and Candy. Then, there is true love. Again, we use the world “love” for all three stages but their weights are totally different. Yes, Candy did love Terry but she herself realized that her “love” is not the same as Susanna’s for Terry as you said 😀 These are just my thought !! XD

    1. Nice to hear from you again, Tiffany! Great analysis, and they are exactly the three stages of Candy’s love experience, from puppy love, teenage love and then true love. You’re right, in English we use “love” for all these phases, but in Japanese, true love is represented by a special word, “ai”.

      I think Candy used that word for Susanna’s love because of her sacrifice for Terry. Don’t you think? 🙂

      • Reeka on April 10, 2015 at 6:54 pm
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      Hi, Tiffany, I agree with you. I myself started appreciating the love between Albert and Candy when I’m all grown up and matured.
      Some people experience adolescence love once, some a few times. At this stage, we usually feel the love so strong and think it MAY BE our true love. We start to imagine a beautiful dream of living together with our love at this stage. That’s what Candy also did. However, life goes on and we’re all grown up. A few people may end up with their adolescence love. But mostly, we past over it, and we learn to love in a more mature way. It might not always be intense and passionate, but it sure gives us security and stability. And that’s what Candy got from Albert’s.
      Unfortunately, some people are so blind and refuse to except what Candy deserved.

      And I agree with you that somehow I think Candy realised her love to Terry couldn’t compete with Susanna’s. She might think she wouldn’t be able to sacrifice her life to Terry, let alone trying to commit a suicide. That’s why she used “ai” for Susanna’s and “daisuki” for hers.

      1. Can’t agree with you more, Reeka, about teenage relationships. Their love may seem so intense and passionate, and some people do marry their high school sweethearts, like two of my coworkers, but in most cases they don’t necessarily work out to be lifelong partners.

        I believe Candy also had very strong feelings for Terry back then, and she probably even thought nobody could love him like she did. However, the moment she discovered the magnitude of Susanna’s sacrifice, she already knew her relationship with Terry was over. No matter what Candy would do, it would never measure up. 🙁

        In CCFS, Candy recalled this hospital roof top scene in detail, and by reading it, I could sense that Susanna’s attempt to commit suicide in order not to “torture” Terry any longer significantly stirred Candy’s heart. She could also sense that Terry was in a dilemma. Therefore, Candy decided to “break up” with Terry (to me, Terry and Candy hadn’t really started a relationship, so that wasn’t actually a break up).

        Anyway, during this recollection, Candy didn’t blame Susanna nor Terry. Absolutely no bitterness. In fact, they both had Candy’s pity.

        • Evelyn on April 14, 2015 at 8:31 pm
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        Hi Reeka and Ms Puddle, I know I’m late to this post. Sorry. But just wanted to add a small comment. I went back to the Spanish manga to the part where Terry just carried Susanna to her room right after Candy saved her life from committing suicide. Candy is waiting and Terry calls for her telling her that Susanna wants to see her. At that moment Candy had just made the decision to leave by train to Chicago that evening. Then she told Terry something that always made me curious: “Ocúpate de Susana. En su lugar, mezquina como soy, yo no te podría haber salvado la vida…” or “Take care of Susanna. In her place, stingy/petty as I am, I could not have saved your life…” We all know that Candy’s nature is to give and sacrifice herself for the sake of others, that is her nature. I find it peculiar that she told this to Terry. Either she was kidding to make him realize what she had done for him or she felt that her love for him could not measure up to Susanna’s sacrifice for him! Sigh!

          • Reeka on April 14, 2015 at 8:45 pm
          • Reply

          Oopps Evelyn, I think we’re both online now, staring on MS Puddle’s blog :). I’ve just posted a comment above a minute ago and I got notification of another comment.

          Oh, you reminded me about that scene, and I really don’t like that scene on the rooftop and hospital afterward. For me, it clearly shows that Terry didn’t fully care about Candy’s feeling. In fact, he cared about Susanna more than the woman he claimed he loved so much.

          About what Candy said to Terry .. if I remember correctly, in English it says something like this : “Take Care of Susanna, Terry. If I were her, I wouldn’t have saved your life”

          I understand when you said it against Candy’s nature, even in joking term. However, it also showed us that at that moment, she realised that Susanna’s love was way deeper than hers. Yes, Candy was a selfless person by nature, but she cherished her life so much, even when she had gone so much turbulences. Remember when she was unsure whether she needed to volunteer to war field or not? She was “being selfish” there. She didn’t feel ready to be apart from her best friends, her mothers, and Terry who she had just met again. Candy was never a selfish person in a way of Susanna was, or Eliza was, or Annie was. But to sacrifice her own life was truly a different case.

          That’s my understanding. 🙂

            • Evelyn on April 14, 2015 at 9:02 pm
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            Yes Reeka. You are right. Candy does love life and appreciates being alive!! She always says ‘it’s great to be alive’ so committing suicide goes against her nature, except when it came to being forced to marry Neil, she did say that time that she rather die. 🙁 sigh! Anyway thanks for your feedback!! 🙂

              • Ms Puddle on April 15, 2015 at 9:21 am

              That’s true, Evelyn! Candy was always optimistic and positive, except after Anthony’s death and the heart wrenching breakup… But she never thought of ending her own life like Patty… Poor Patty… :'(

              Yes I remember Candy said something like that about Neil… So we can see how much she disliked him (should I use ‘hate’ instead?)

          1. Hello Evelyn and Reeka, yes I remember that entire episode very well, and I’m sure many Terry fans know every single panel/screenshot by heart… just kidding! 😛

            Anyway, Candy had my pity… she was shedding silent tears all alone in the lobby when everybody else swarmed in Susanna’s room, thinking of giving up Terry for Susanna’s sake. When Terry reappeared after the suicidal attempt, Candy was startled, and immediately, she put up a smiley face. I still remember when I first read that part in the manga, my tears welled up in my eyes. Poor Candy, she just made a painful decision but didn’t want Terry to see her tears. He got his plate full already. However, her comment about taking care of Susanna, I believe Candy didn’t really mean that wholeheartedly. If she had been on the stage with Terry and saw the lamps falling down toward him, I’m quite certain Candy would have pushed Terry away too. It had been purely an accident that Susanna had lost her balance and taken Terry’s place herself.

            However, Candy already knew that Terry had chosen Susanna over her, so she said that to Terry with a smiley face to make him feel ‘better’. She essentially told him that he had made the right decision. Yet, if you look closely, his expression after that was terrible. 🙁

              • Agnès on April 15, 2015 at 5:33 am

              Hello Ladies! 🙂

              May I join you on this topic?
              So many things to say with all your great posts, Ms Puddle, and so much lack of time for me for a while. Sigh! Once again big thanks for your brilliant analysis! 🙂

              I completely agree with you, Ms Puddle: I think Candy would have saved Terry too because when you love someone and see him/her in danger you don’t think twice it’s a sort of reflex, you save him/her. You have no time to think about it and by knowing how Candy was selfless…
              She only wanted relieve and help Terry for his decision, to push him to do his duty with less tragedy. Candy had always hidden her feelings except with… Albert! 😉 Candy had understood that Terry had already chosen Suzanna on the hospital roof. I remember their terrible facial expressions of the both of them when Terry was walking with Suzanna in his arms. Their stares had overwhelmed me so much, perhaps even more than their last embrace on the stairs before Candy’s departure! 🙁

              • Ms Puddle on April 15, 2015 at 8:09 am

              Merci Agnès! Thank you for taking the time to read and write your feedback! I appreciate it 🙂

              Glad to know you have similar thoughts too!

              Oh I cried when I first read their last embrace on the stairs… Igarashi did an excellent job I must say.

              In CCFS, one of Candy’s recollections was details about Susanna’s suicidal attempt, and of course the stares and the embrace afterwards. Perhaps I should write a new post about this.

              Once again, no bitterness nor resentment. Candy was indeed very forgiving!

            • Reeka on April 15, 2015 at 7:15 am
            • Reply

            Yeah, I think you’re right, Ms Puddle. And you too, Agnes. Candy might have done what Susanna did. However, she sure never thought to commit suicide. Well, but it’s a different story.

            Sigh. It’s always hard to discuss this part of manga.

            Although at the end of the day I thank Susanna and Terry, because of this terrible accident, Candy was freed and she had been able to open her eyes for a wonderful man beside her, I still feel upset whenever I think Terry could’ve done something in that hospital at that night. I always hope he could’ve explained Candy about the accident or said something before telling her that Susanna had asked to meet her. I know he was in dilemma, but still … 🙁

            I don’t know, for me, the way Terry was miserably devastated by the break up ( his state in Rockstown) doesn’t match his treatment to Candy in NY hospital. That’s why I always think only Albert deserved Candy’s love, as much as Candy too deserved to be loved by him.

            Agnes :
            I agree with you about scene on rooftop and hospital’ stairs. I think that was my first traumatic heartbroken experience. I was around 12 when I first read it. 🙁

            • Agnès on April 15, 2015 at 7:46 am
            • Reply

            Reeka, my dear you’ve said exactly ALL what I think!
            Candy never thought to commit suicide. I remember her reaction when Patty wanted to stab herself after Stear’s funeral, she was hard with her. Candy cherished life too much!
            You’re right and I thank Susanna and Terry too because Candy & Albert deserved each other to be happy together! 🙂

              • Ms Puddle on April 15, 2015 at 9:18 am

              Yeah, Agnès and Reeka! Although Candy was heartbroken after the breakup, she could finally leave Terry behind and move on. She didn’t yet know her destiny back then… Someone else was willing to put her happiness before his and loved her unconditionally. He was no other man than the prince she had been waiting for… Sigh!

          2. Reeka, as I have said a few times on my blog already, that Terry’s claim was inconsistent with his behavior. First off, if he had indeed loved Candy very much, he wouldn’t have left her without a trace back in London… This part is the same in CCFS by the way. The note was exactly the same as shown in the manga.

            About Candy, you’re absolutely right that she would never attempt to commit suicide… Not even after Anthony’s death (though she had been devastated).

            Yet, for Susanna’s case, I think she knew she would be a burden to Terry, especially she knew he had another woman in his heart. She was probably under drugs to subdue her pain or depression, so she made an impulsive decision… in order to free Terry… Therefore, Candy realized Susanna’s love was a lot stronger than expected. She said so in her recollection… Sigh.

            • Evelyn on April 15, 2015 at 6:32 pm
            • Reply

            Hi ladies!! Just like you Agnès, lately I’ve had so little time to join in and participate in discussions! I do agree with all of you that Candy would never have committed suicide! And I do believe that Candy would have saved Terry from those falling lamps. It’s just that in Spanish she makes a sarcastic comment to Terry that she was selfish and that she would not have saved him, but I think it was to make Terry realize the magnitude of the sacrifice that Susanna had just made for him.

            Reeka: I feel the same about the manga. This was one of my least favorite scenes where my heart felt in a knot for Candy. Yet another disappointment in her life. :'( What I least liked is that Terry went straight from the theater to see Susanna at the hospital not knowing that she was about to commit suicide. As far as he was concerned, she was just in her room waiting for him. Candy was supposed to be at the theater as his special guest but Terry left Candy behind running to see Susanna, as he himself said it. Now what kind of love is that toward Candy? You can see where Terry’s heart was, and it was not with Candy at the time. I do understand the circumstances but he could have announced to Candy at least where he was going and why. Again, not very truthful and honest to her. I did not think this was very nice of him to do.

            Ms Puddle: I never really thought about Candy already knowing that Terry had chosen Susanna over her when at the hospital roof top! Very interesting! I like what you said that her attitude was to make Terry’s decision more bearable for him. I do agree that his actions were not consistent with his words. There is just a gap there that cannot be closed between him and Candy… Sigh!!

              • Ms Puddle on April 15, 2015 at 7:25 pm

              Dear Evelyn, I couldn’t have agreed with you more about Terry’s rush to the hospital.

              Very disappointing… If he claimed to be Candy’s special someone (significant other).

              Once again, it proves that Candy’s love for him was stronger than his for her.

              Candy went to the theater alone. Come on, didn’t he invite her? Yes he might be busy, but couldn’t he arrange someone, an escort?

              Yet, I believe someone must have informed him of Susanna’s attempt to commit suicide, so he rushed to the scene. Guess he believed Candy would take care of herself?

              This reminds me of one of my friends. She was strong and independent, just like Candy. Her boyfriend didn’t treasure her as he should, thinking she was capable of doing everything all by herself. At the end, they broke up. My friend said she wanted someone to cherish her. Sigh!

            • Evelyn on April 15, 2015 at 8:00 pm
            • Reply

            Oh, I completely sympathize with your friend to want to have someone who cares and cherishes her no matter how independent she is! Hope she found or will find that special person to value her. Sigh!

            I guess there is the possibility that someone could have informed Terry of Susanna’s suicide attempt but it all happened so fast, how could have that happened? by telegram? I feel he just came as fast as he could and when he did not find her in her room he started desperately looking for her until he found her on the roof to and then ran into Candy… he looked surprised when he saw her :'(

            Also, yes you are right, Come on! Terry did not even arrange an escort to accompany Candy? I thought Terry had been waiting for this big moment for Candy to see him perform his first lead role. My point is that Terry’s heart was not with Candy any more. His mind still thought that he loved Candy but his actions said something else. Candy should have seen this one coming but she was blinded by her love for him. Unfortunately there was no affection between them. Terry showed a lot more understanding and affection toward Susanna in the short time we see them together in the story. I guess time and distance had truly started the separation process between them even before Candy made her decision to leave him on that roof top. Sigh!

              • Ms Puddle on April 15, 2015 at 8:37 pm

              Thanks Evelyn! My friend is now happy with a man who is equally strong but also treats her like a lady. I’m happy for her too. 🙂

              Yes, indeed, Terry was more than surprised when he saw Candy, who had rescued Susanna…

              What also disappointed me was that Terry seemingly had no intention to show Candy to anybody, to introduce her as his ‘girlfriend’… In fact, were they ever in a relationship, I wonder?

              Once again, well said about Terry’s actions betraying him somewhat. His heart and mind were preoccupied by Susanna, her accident, his guilt and struggles.

              You’re absolutely right that the separation process had started… Susanna’s accident was just a catalyst, or a trigger? At least I haven’t seen him treat Candy the tender way he treated Susanna in the hospital.

              Plus, he had nearly made up his mind… He wanted to inform Candy of Susanna but didn’t know how or when to broach the subject at all…

            • Reeka on April 16, 2015 at 8:41 am
            • Reply

            It’s interesting what you said on the last paragraph, Evelyn. Time and distance had started separated them even before Candy decided to leave Terry for Susanna. I think I’ve said it somewhere in this blog, that Susanna’s accident was the final strike moved by Universe, saying that Terry and Candy weren’t meant for each other. They had been forced to separate in London. Candy and Terry kept missing each other, in Southampton, Pony’s, Chicago Hotel/Hospital. And only because Candy was not easy to give up and ran across a field and chased the moving train, she was able to see Terry for seconds.

            What if the accident never happened? Would they end up together? One in Chicago working as nurse, living comfortably with a gentle and handsome man. One was in NY, surrounded by many beautiful ladies and in fact a very beautiful lady showed him her persistent attention. It seems that whichever bends they turned to, the separation was inevitable.

              • Ms Puddle on April 16, 2015 at 8:55 am

              Agree with you totally, Reeka. It was clear Mizuki had never meant to give Candy and Terry to each other… They were bound to separate. I just wish Mizuki could have shown more about Candy and her prince in the manga after the confession, but I know the manga ending had become a classic — that Candy was back to her prince.

    • Reeka on April 10, 2015 at 5:08 pm
    • Reply

    Thank you for this post, my friend! 🙂

    So, in manga, at the scene in Rockstown, Candy used the word “ai” ( in past tense)? Well then, another change on CCFS Mizuki made that favours Albert, don’t you think? ^_*

    About someone who said Candy used “ai” in Love and Gratitude because Albert was a family, they really need to do their homework! I don’t think japanese normally use “ai” to express love to a family member. In fact, if we know how japanese’s culture is, I think japanese would likely express respect instead of love to their parents/family. They tend to be more reserved in showing affection in general.

    And about the diary. I had always wondered if there was this diary’s existence in manga, but somehow I always forgot to check. It was not in manga, isn’t it? Then Mizuki add this diary on CCFS … for what purpose? 🙂 Another favour for Albert as the return and re-return of this diary tell us a lot about Candy’s feeling to Terry and Albert’s feeling to Candy.

    Thanks again, Ms Puddle! Have a nice weekend!

    1. Dear Reeka, thank you! Glad you like this. Like you, I think Mizuki deliberately changed in CCFS that Candy no longer used “ai” for her teenage love for Terry… 😉 Mizuki probably thought “suki” or “daisuki” are strong enough.

      Yeah… Japanese culture is more reserved. They use “ai” for family members only in a general sense, like when they describe a mother’s love for her children, but they seldom express their feelings using “ai” to one another in the family. For example, in CCFS, Candy loved her foster mothers, but she used “daisuki” when she said she loved Sister Lane.

      The diary is new in CCFS, and it has a very significant meaning, just as you said. I’ll talk more about this diary later. 🙂

        • Reeka on April 10, 2015 at 6:39 pm
        • Reply

        You explained it better than I did, Ms Puddle, as usual 🙂 True what you’ve said, that when Japanese generally talk about love to parents especially mother, and vice versa, they may use “ai” because mother’s love is indeed very deep and lasts forever. However, when they express it verbally to the person, they say it using “daisuki”, though a few might use “ai”.


        1. Thank you Reeka! 🙂 I read somewhere that they rarely verbally express love using “ai” (I love you) to family members… That is reserved for lovers only. However, I’m not sure. 😉

    • SweetCandyAndley on April 10, 2015 at 3:45 pm
    • Reply

    Oh, my friend!

    This is another extraordinary post of yours!

    Knowing the differences among the words suki, dai-suki and ai, it is unquestionable the identity of Anohito.

    1. Exactly, dear SweetCandyAndley! Indeed it can’t be more obvious to me who Anohito is.

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