This love of mine I’ll keep ocean deep

Recently, I have heard an old song from the radio called “Ocean Deep” by Cliff Richard. It was one of the tracks from his album “Silver” released in 1983. I have not paid much attention to its lyrics before this; surprisingly the words have touched my heart, reminding me of Albert in Candy Candy, especially after he had sent Candy a gift from Rockstown, leading her back to Terry.

This shows only part of the song:

I wanna spread my wings
But I just can’t fly
As a string of pearls
The pretty girls go sailin’ by

Ocean deep
I’m so afraid to show my feelings
I have sailed a million ceilings
Solitary room

Ocean deep
Will I ever find a lover
Maybe she has found another
And as I cry myself to sleep
I know this love of mine I’ll keep
Ocean deep

You can find the music video with words on YouTube

The author of Candy Candy, Mizuki, only showed us how much Candy had missed her previous roommate during those winter months in the manga. Since Mizuki didn’t show us what Albert had gone through in the same period, I used my own imagination and wrote a short story called “Afternoon Nap”. Many of you have read this story already I think, but if you haven’t and are interested, you can find it here:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7839587/1/Afternoon-Nap

In that story I attempted to explain what made Albert think of sending something to Candy from Rockstown. Here is an excerpt:

“… From that night on, I had been trying my best to avoid Candy, and I sternly reprimanded myself many times that I should stop loving her this way because I was her guardian for heaven’s sake. Yet this was something easier said than done. I acknowledged that thought in my head, but I couldn’t stop the feelings in my heart. My hectic work life somehow eased me from thinking of her too much, and I appeared normal to most people. But at times I woke up in my luxurious bed in the middle of the night, wondering where I was or why I was here, as if I had left a part of me behind when I walked out of the apartment that winter night, and I would never be whole again.

I must confess the more I tried not to think of her, the more I missed her. Sometimes I even felt “homesick”, reminiscing our times living in that tiny apartment that I had shared with her for a little more than a year. As it turned out, one of the things I used and enjoyed most was my journal. On lonely days whenever I found myself unconsciously picking up a pen wanting to write to her, I would jot down my moods or impressions in my journal, which gave me the comfort as though I was talking to her.

Then something dawned on me one day. Remembering how easily she was tricked by Neil that Terry was expecting her somewhere, I asked George to send a trustworthy private investigator to help me track down Terry’s whereabouts. He soon came back with leads that Terry was heading to Rockstown based on his current schedule. The first thing I did was to put on my disguise lest Terry might recognize me. Indeed there he was, acting in such a pitiful state, obviously drunk. Convinced that he was depressed from his separation with Candy, I decided to play Cupid for them. What would make her happier than to reunite with her love, who seemingly hadn’t forgotten about her either? As expected, George, who kept me company, didn’t make any comment about my decision, and simply advised the private investigator to stay put and send us reports about Candy and Terry.

Hence, attempting to stop torturing myself, I bought her a nice Spring dress and sent it to her under my name, with a brief note telling her that she was on my mind wherever I went. If she received my present without taking any other action, then it would be a clear sign to me that I meant nothing to her. That would certainly help me to forget her. On the other hand, she would probably pay a visit to Rockstown, thinking that was where I currently resided. Then she would run into Terry as planned, and after that I would have the best reason to treat her as someone under my guardianship again. I figured these were the two possible outcomes, or so I thought…”