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Apr 30 2015

More than words (Part 2)



キャンディキャンディ第06巻057

Thanks to Agnès for reminding me of this manga scene in Volume 6, p. 57:

Terry was doing well in Broadway (a rising star in the show business), and assuming Candy was still in London, he was worried because of the great war. He regretted leaving her behind.

With nostalgia, he remembered their happy moments back at St. Paul’s Academy, but he couldn’t go back. He had already chosen his path, and he only wished nothing would happen to England before they would meet again.

Therefore, both Agnès and I think this is the evidence Terry put his career before Candy. Please read her thoughtful comment if you like, which consists of some valid questions about Terry’s behavior.

I suppose Terry thought he might eventually return to London one day. Of course he didn’t know Candy had returned to America already. If you know there’s an equivalent passage in Candy Candy Final Story (CCFS), please kindly inform me. Section III of CCFS (Candy’s life after leaving London) is mainly composed of letters to/from various people and her present recollections of the past events. In short, Candy wouldn’t have known Terry’s inner monologue back in this stage of his life unless he told her himself, but would he? 😉

Nonetheless, note that never once had Terry wondered how Candy had felt since his abrupt departure months ago. At least we don’t see it in the manga anywhere. Had it ever occurred to Terry that Candy could be crying or feeling miserable day after day not hearing anything from him? 🙁 Don’t tell me he had expected her to forget about him as though nothing had happened between them… 😕

Please don’t think I’ve been trying to make Terry look bad. 😯 That’s not my intention. As a matter of fact, I base my opinions on the facts shown in the manga version as well as CCFS. For your interest, here is my brief analysis of his actions. At any rate, actions speak louder than words, and I’m sure you know what it means by someone’s actions not supporting his or her claim. As indicated by the lyrics of the song “More Than Words” shared in More than words (Part 1):

… More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn’t have to say that you love me
‘Cause I’d already know…

Thus, even without saying “I love you”, one can feel if someone’s love for him or her is real. Likewise, one can’t slap someone and believe saying “I love you” to him or her afterwards will immediately remedy one’s mistake. The three words “I love you” is meaningless to the person you hurt. 🙁

Now, let’s get back to Candy’s diary. As discussed in Part 1, her diary was basically her story with Terry, how they had met and every little thing that showed how she had been gradually attracted to him. Before leaving London, Candy had decided to leave her diary to the care of her guardian, and she had concluded in her diary (using dai-suki, see the highlighted words below):

あなたが大好き、だと。ほかの誰よりも……。

I love you (Terry) more than anyone else…

Candy had wanted to declare her strong affection to Terry but she couldn’t. He had left London already without leaving any means for her to contact him. 🙁

After five years or so, she finally saw her diary again in the room where she had discovered Albert’s true identity. Based on Candy’s last letter to Albert, she didn’t mention anything about her reaction to seeing her diary the first time after all these years. She just wrote down what she had observed. That Albert kept staring out of the window and murmured to her in a very quiet voice, “Because this is… your treasure.” I suppose she sensed his unease, that he wasn’t his normal self. Then in her letter she acknowledged the content of the diary, that it was mainly about Terry, and she had been wondering about it too.

After that, Candy started a new paragraph as follows (Volume 2, p. 321):

今、返していただいた日記がわたしのそばにあります。
でも、開くことはありませんでした。
わたしはこの日記をまたアルバートさんに託すつもりです。
アルバートさんが一度お返ししたバッジを、また贈ってくださったように。

Now, I have the diary that was returned to me by my side.
However, it hasn’t been opened.
I plan to entrust this diary to Albert-san again.
Just like the way Albert-san presented the badge back to me, the one that I had once returned.

The word 託す (takusu) implies someone committing something to another’s care or placing something under another’s charge. Thus, I picked the verb, entrust. 🙂 Also, Candy used the word 贈る (okuru) to describe how Albert had given his badge back to her, as though it was an award / a gift / a prize.

As QuevivaCandy said, Candy completely understood Albert’s intention even though he didn’t put it in words. He would like her to make a choice between him or Terry. We know that Candy had brought her diary home, and I agree with QuevivaCandy that since then, Albert must have gone through hell, bracing himself for whatever Candy’s verdict was going to be. I figure he had prepared for the worst, that after reading her diary, she would tell him her decision to remain single, mourning for the loss of Terry or waiting for Terry to come back to her one day. 🙁

However, that’s not the case. Candy wrote about her diary without sounding emotional at all. Yes, she wrote she had been concerned about it, and yet it seems to me that she had left it on her desk ever since she had got it back from Albert (the trip to Lakewood had happened a few days ago, perhaps?). She wrote in a straightforward way that the diary hadn’t been opened.

Some people explained that it was too painful for Candy to read her diary, that her wounds from the breakup (despite being years ago) were still fresh, and that was why she couldn’t handle her diary yet. If this is true, Candy could have simply left it in Lakewood without bringing it back home. She had never had any difficulty being frank with Albert, so she could have told him right there in that special room that she wasn’t ready to go down her memory lane even now.

To me, the fact that Candy had brought it home means that she had thought about re-reading it. It must be tempting. After all, it was full of her precious memories in London and her passionate words regarding Terry. Who doesn’t like reading his or her old diary? Be honest. 😛

Not to mention Candy must be aware of Albert’s unconditional acceptance by now, and as always, he would completely respect her choice, regardless of the outcome. Nobody would have blamed her if she decided to reminisce the good old days, not even Albert. He was the one who had returned the diary to her, so he shouldn’t be surprised if she would read it again.

On the other hand, if Candy still loved Terry but not ready to read her diary yet, she could have stored it somewhere else or placed it under her foster mothers’ care for example. They had met Terry and understood Candy’s feelings for him, so when Candy was finally ready one day, she could easily dig up her diary for reading.

Come to think of it, Candy had great memory, and she didn’t really need her diary to help her recall her days with Terry. Yet, after he had left London, how many times had she shed tears of despair and disappointment because of him? How about all that fruitless chasing after him? Not to mention he had broken her heart twice, once in London and once in New York. Granted, they had had some happy moments together (perhaps mainly in Scotland), but the time they had been living apart was much longer.

In any case, although Candy didn’t mention any struggles in her letter, I suppose she had debated with herself before she made up her mind to write to Albert. She knew if she kept her own diary somewhere easily accessible, she might be tempted to read it, so she made a conscious decision not to look back, ever. This is consistent with her words in her letter to Terry’s mother much earlier, that Candy would not see Terry’s performance as Hamlet lest she might be tempted to talk to Terry (CCFS Volume 2, p. 273). Please read Tiffany’s brilliant comment. Back then, Candy had used her promise to Susanna as one of her reasons of not accepting Miss Baker’s invitation, but this time with her diary, Candy had never once mentioned Susanna.

Soon after Candy had declined Miss Baker’s invitation to see Terry as Hamlet, Candy had written an unsent letter to Terry as well, in which she had plainly said that she had got over Terry with help from Albert and sincerely wished Terry happiness with Susanna. Note that this had happened long time ago before Albert had made his confession of being her prince.

How much time had elapsed in between her unsent letter to Terry and her last letter to Albert after the trip to Lakewood? A year more or less? I don’t know, but for sure it was not a short period of time.

In a nutshell, entrusting her diary to Albert proved Candy’s firm determination to leave Terry in her past. Her action speaks volumes indeed, that she had undoubtedly moved on and stuck with her previous decision in New York.

Furthermore, she used the return of her diary as her answer to Albert’s unspoken question, that she had chosen her Prince on the Hill, not Terry. Why? Because she mentioned the badge. We all know that she had kept his badge all these years as her treasure because her prince had dropped it by accident. During his important confession, he had asked her to return the badge to him. It isn’t clear when exactly she had actually returned his badge, but here she wrote that he had already presented it back to her as his gift. How and when had it occurred we don’t know.

Based on Anthony’s words, we understand that only a real Ardlay boy could keep a badge with the family insignia. In other words, Anthony, Stear or Archie didn’t own such a badge because their last names were not Ardlay. In the entire family, only Albert had the honor to carry such a badge. It wasn’t clear if it was an heirloom though, but in any case the badge served as a token of Albert’s unique status and identity.

Yet, all these years, Candy the orphan girl had been keeping it for Albert, the only male descendant to the Ardlay’s clan, and after asking it back from her, he had “awarded” it to her. I think he wanted her to never forget their first encounter (so sweet, isn’t it?). Moreover, the badge had been her only clue to find him, so the badge had represented him as a person. Whenever she looked at the badge, she would remember her prince. 🙂 What’s more, her prince intentionally asked her to keep it for him implies that he truly belonged to her from now on, that the person named William Albert Ardlay would always be by her side. This reminds me of his sandwich proposal, and of course this is my interpretation. Yet, both Reeka and QuevivaCandy share similar thoughts. 8) Please read their comments on Part 1.

You know what, I have a strong feeling that Albert had formally presented his badge to Candy during their trip to Lakewood, possibly way before the return of her diary or even around the time he had told Candy his nickname, “Little Bert”. 🙂

Therefore, by using the badge as her example, Candy was essentially telling Albert that she belonged to him too from now on, that her future began with Prince on the Hill. In fact, near the end of her letter, she reinforced that she was happy with him,

そう、アルバートさん、
今が、わたしの幸せです。

Thus, Albert-san,
Now is my happiness.

My interpretation is that Candy used “thus” or “therefore” after saying that she was the one who couldn’t thank Albert enough (please read Her happiness about his deep gratitude to her), so she concluded, “now is my happiness” (direct translation). My Japanese friend told me that this was a strange way to write. To tell Albert that she was happy now, she could simply write 今、わたしは幸せです。

However, this was Candy’s response to Albert’s earlier question concerning her happiness. He had wanted to know where (in her heart) was her happiness. That was why he had given the diary back to her to find out. Although he had asked “where”, she gave the answer “now” as if he had asked “when”. 🙄 😛

Think about this. Candy was writing a letter to Albert, right? So did she mean “my happiness lies in you, Albert!”, that she was happy and content with him NOW? 😀

Grammatically, the answer is yes because Candy used the particle が not は right after the word 今, which means now. The way she wrote implies “now and only now”; that is, her happiness applied to NOW exclusively. See the difference between が and は for your interest.

No matter what, Candy’s message in her last letter to Albert can’t be more obvious. Similar to her mental letter to Anthony (please read Optimistic protagonist for details), in this long letter Candy summarized her three loves by writing how she had got over her guilt of causing Anthony’s death and resolved to bury her past with Terry by placing her diary to Albert’s care. (I don’t think she would ever ask it back from Albert.) With Albert by her side, Candy found her happiness NOW. He knew her and her history better than anyone, and yet he loved her for who she was, fully accepting her past.

Right after these two letters in the epilogue, Candy snapped herself back to the present when Anohito came home to her. Both letters indicated that Candy lived happily in the present and looked forward to her future. With whom? With Prince on the Hill. 🙂

What else do you need to prove that Terry was highly unlikely to be Anohito? 😛

I will continue to talk a bit more about Candy’s letter of love and gratitude. I believe some of you know what I have in mind already. 😉 Before I go, I’d like to share with you the following quote:

“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” ~Friedrich Nietzsche

That’s Candy. Although she had gone through many ups and downs in her life, she had come out stronger and wiser. True love involved both individuals to make decisions together. Her feelings would be respected and reciprocated by the only man who gave her a marvelous sense of security.

Have a great weekend, my friends! 😀

59 comments

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  1. ndt N

    Thank you! You have brought closure and reassurance 😉

    1. Ms Puddle

      You’re very welcome! Thanks for reading! 🙂

  2. Antlay

    Bonjour Ms Puddle, et à vous toutes.
    Oui cela fait plaisir de rencontrer des fans de France, alors bienvenue Luna, désolé pour le retard. Comme Agnès je pensais aussi que vous étiez canadienne, après tout les canadiens sont nos cousins ! Votre anglais est parfait tout comme Agnès.
    Shame on me ! I don’t make the slightest effort to speak english 😉 mes origines du sud-ouest je suppose, nous sommes un peu fainéants lol ! 😀
    Oups ! j’espère que vous n’êtes vous-même pas de là, sinon je ne vais pas me faire des amies ! 😉

    1. Luna

      Merci beaucoup Antlay:)
      Je suis du sud-est et vraiement, je suis très surprise qu’il n y a pas mal de francaises sur ce blog!!
      ahhh, toi aussi pensais que j’étais canadienne comme c’est que je pensais sur l’origine d’Agnès;) Well,I think all of us are doing well with our english here ( I’m very proud of us)…Maybe due to this we are expecting that every one is here anglophone :)) ( here I’m getting a bit arogant)
      Cheers

  3. Evelyn

    Dear Ms Puddle. When i look at the manga scene when Terry is remembering the old days at St Paul’s, I always got the impression that Candy acted very different around Terry than when she lived at Pony’s home or Lakewood. I saw a side of Candy that would easily get angry, a bit impulsive or always on the defensive with Terry. The only other person who brought that side out of Candy were Neil and Elisa. The only difference is that she was physically attracted to Terry so she overlooked many of his faults. As per the scene above, Terry made his choice, maybe with a heavy heart but he chose his path which did not include Candy in it. Sigh!!

    I have read and re-read this great blog! I find it so interesting that both Candy and Albert had something that belonged to each other. From the beginning their destinies were meant to cross over and over again, and when they both knew who the other really was they returned to each other their rightful property just to be exchanged one final time as a gesture of love. To me that really was a gesture of true love and gratitude between them. As you had said before, their gratitude and respect was mutual – a two way street – which made them long for each other even more!

    It is so touching that Albert returned to Candy her old diary trying to find out where her happiness was!! Again, it just makes my heart melt to see how selfless Albert was with Candy. When Candy writes to Albert that she had been concerning about the diary and that she did not even open it, Albert must have been speechless. Why else would Candy be concerned about the diary unless she was concerned about Albert’s feelings because she knew exactly how he felt about her?! Then she says that she wants to give it back to him and ties it back to his badge! Brilliant!! Love your post Ms Puddle! 😉

    1. Ms Puddle

      Yes indeed Evelyn!! Thank you so much for re-reading my recent posts! This is very encouraging because I know you’re very busy.

      My sentiments exactly about how touching Albert’s selfless act was. I’m sure Candy felt it too. The fact that they exchanged their own treasures with each other was like giving a part of themselves to each other. Like you, I think their relationship was very beautifully described, and no wonder Candy wrote a letter to Albert filled with love and gratitude. Sigh. 😉

      You’re absolutely right about Candy being defensive around Terry. To me, she seemed constantly on edge whenever she was with him, like she was a totally different person. She wasn’t like that at all with other people, except Neil and Eliza! Hahahaha… Good point about that, Evelyn! I guess love does make one blind? 😉

      However, as far as the manga shows, Candy and Terry hadn’t exchanged many serious conversations. They were mostly bantering with each other, and they tended to keep things to themselves, which was the exact opposite when Candy was around Albert. 😉

      1. Evelyn

        Yes, you are absolutely right, Ms Puddle, about Candy and Terry keeping things to themselves! that was not a true relationship. Mizuki really made a great distinction between both Terry and Albert’s relationship with Candy. Like night and day. I just read my Spanish version of that exact scene you posted here and Terry’s exact thought-out words were “Candy, ahora he escogido mi vida. No puedo volver”, “Espero que nada pase en Inglaterra hasta que nos volvamos a encontrar…” or “Candy, I have now chosen my life. I cannot go back”, “I hope nothing happens in England until we meet again”. He thought those words with regret but he made a choice and stuck with it.

        Thank you for taking the time to respond 🙂 Lately I’ve been very busy with work but I always try to catch up when possible. 😉 Love how your blog brings people together from all over the world!! Awesome!! I can see we all think very much alike!! Thank YOU also for the time you put into this site to keep us all connected! 😀

        1. Ms Puddle

          Yes, Evelyn, day and night indeed! The more I read the story the more I’m convinced that Albert was the MAN. 😀
          Thanks again for the support! Without you all, my blog just wouldn’t be the same. I mean it!

        2. Reeka

          Agree with you both. Somehow Terry managed to bring the worst of Candy’s out. LOL. It reflected a teenage love, I say. Day and night, indeed. Well, for me Albert was somewhat a combination of Anthony and Terry. He was naturally a kind, sweet, and tender person who loved nature. However, when his free spirit had been caged, he ran away and being a rebel in his youth. Albert was the perfect one for Candy because as much as she liked freedom and being a rebel herself, she needed a calm relationship which promised a secured future.

          Btw, I like the picture of smiling Candy in Terry’s mind here. She’s sooooo beautiful.

          1. Evelyn

            I like what you said about Albert Reeka, He himself was a rebel and free spirit at one point. It’s just that he was past that stage in his life. Both Candy and Albert were so alike: nature lovers, honest and honorable in every way! They deserved each other’s love!

  4. Luna

    Hello Ms Puddle and everyone,
    Many thanks for this nice work dear Ms Puddle. After reading your sharing,I asked myself about when exactly she could return the diary to Albert. Frankly, I don’t know the chronology in the CCFS. I don t know exactly when she received Terry s note. Yes, I know after nearly ten years (and one and the half year after Suzanna s death) he sent this note. But I don t know after /before which event that diary was returnt to Albert by her. In my opinion , she had received Terry s note just before Albert gave the diary back. I mean, just a feeling, Albert was aware of the note than he wanted to be sure about Candy s reaction like whether she forgot Terry or not and whether she still wanted to reunite with him or not .So maybe all those years he was questioning Candy s attachment to Terry but unfortunately he could not be direct because he could not find any occasion in order to be sure…and maybe due to this he couldn’t reveal his love. However , that note changed everything between them. So, for me, not the diary but the note launched all these giving /returning ceremony and their official relation….. As I said this is just a feeling…

    1. Ms Puddle

      Bonjour Luna! First of all, in my old post Ambiguous letter I already discussed why I think Terry’s note might not be necessarily sent after Susanna’s death. The letters in CCFS are not always in chronological order. In short, Terry said, “It’s been a year.” Since what event? It’s unclear. Some people said he meant their breakup!

      Anyway, I believe Albert should be able to feel Candy’s feelings for him before he confessed to be her prince. Otherwise, if their relationship was merely family, he would have kept this secret to himself forever because it would only embarrass her, don’t you think?

      Most people think his confession happened just before Candy’s 21st birthday. Once she turned 21, she no longer needed a guardian.

      Whether Candy had indeed received such a note from Terry or not, this return of diary (not long after she turned 21) would be her official closure to her chapter with Terry.

      Also, months before his confession, Candy wrote an unsent letter to Terry, in which she had written that she had moved on and was happy even without Terry.

      Does this make sense to you?

      1. Agnès

        Hello Ladies!

        Ms Puddle, as you I don’t think the Terry’s note has been sent one year and half after the death of Suzanna! As I already said in a precedent comment there was no clue to say that, I think it was one year and half after their breakup! Why have waiting so long after the death of Susanna? How Terry could speak of something that Candy could have not known? And so many years have elapsed, ten years or so, Candy could have moved on and have built a new life, after all he has asked her to promise to be happy! I don’t want to say more today and I’m sure Antlay knows why 😉
        More I don’t think Albert waited so long to court her, he probably was in love with her for a while (when he was amnesiac) and Candy too but it is just my own feeling! 😉

        By the way, Ms Puddle, I’m looking forward to read your new fic! 😀

        1. Ms Puddle

          Agree with you completely, Agnès!! Albert wouldn’t wait this long first of all. Candy could easily meet another young man near Pony’s Home. 😉 Remember that she was a beautiful lady?

          Also, Terry shouldn’t expect Candy not to have changed after so many years… What did he think? She could have got married by then. Men fell for her easily, right?

          So it makes more sense that Terry somehow missed her around her birthday (as indicated by Agnès before). That is about 1.5 years after their breakup.

          Some people even said Candy hadn’t received this brief note from Terry. I don’t understand why though…

          Thank you Agnès!! I have a rough draft, and hopefully I can start writing 😀

          1. Agnès

            I know how it is long to write a fic, it took me six months to write only 10 chapters! 😆

          2. Ms Puddle

            You’re doing well so far. I enjoy reading it. 🙂
            Mine is going to be short though… can’t afford the time to write a long one 😉

      2. Luna

        Thank you Ms Puddle!
        I think this ten year duration is blocking me! So there is no actually chronogical order ! Now ,I see!!!! Believe me ,I’m trying to understand everything in this time period and sometimes I am getting confused in order to find out (even very simple )reasons behind actions .So it’s good that Albert didn’t need to wait 10 years 🙂 Je suis soulagée 🙂
        And when I think about Terry ‘s note, it is getting also plausible that it was just sent after their separation!!!
        ….As I said before, the CC story is more understandable than the CCFS..

        1. Ms Puddle

          Yes… the ten year theory was never written in CCFS!! It was a speculation by a CC fan.
          I personally can never imagine Albert waiting ten long years. This was quite against his character in the story. 😉

        2. Agnès

          Bonjour Ms Puddle et Luna,

          Luna, vous parlez français?! Je suis ravie de rencontrer une francophone de plus sur ce blog! 🙂
          Ah! Ms Puddle, merci de nous permettre de faire de si belles et intéressantes rencontres! 😀

          Ce n’est pas évident en effet de s’y retrouver dans la chronologie de CCFS! Albert est un homme d’action, il n’aurait pas pu attendre 10 ans comme l’a dit Ms Puddle, cela ne colle pas avec son caractère. Et puis n’oublions pas qu’il est plus agé que Candy et que l’espérance de vie à l’époque était plus courte donc pourquoi perdre du temps quand on est sûr(e) de ses sentiments, n’est-ce pas? 😉

          1. Ms Puddle

            Oui, Agnès! Luna est de la France! 🙂

            Agree with you, Agnès, that Albert is a man of action. Luna, remember he adopted Candy without asking anyone for opinions. His aunt was terribly shocked but she couldn’t do anything to change that. It’s very clear in the entire story that Albert had the guts to stand up for Candy, even confronting his aunt if necessary (the engagement party in the manga is the best example). Hope this helps! 🙂

            Luna, Agnès has her blog en français! Check this: http://www.trueromantica.com/

          2. Luna

            Bonjour Agnès ,
            Merci beaucoup , c’est aussi mon plaisir de trouver une autre francophone ici. Je vis en France et toi, où es-tu? En France aussi?
            Yes, Ms Puddle. I have no doubt about Albert but actually I don’t really remember where I first time saw or read this 10 year story. When you said that (there is no 10 year )believe me , I was very surprised because I was thinking this was written in the CCFS and plus, every letter was based on a regular chronology. I was trying to understand why Albert had to wait during this long years. It’s very clear now. Thanks again.

          3. Agnès

            Eh oui Luna, comme toi j’habite en France! 😉

            Many thanks, Ms Puddle for the mention much appreciated! 😀

          4. Ms Puddle

            You’re very welcome, mon amie 🙂

          5. Ms Puddle

            You’re not the first one who asked me about this ten year thing. Don’t worry, Luna. I’m happy to know that you now understand this is never mentioned in CCFS, and while I believe Candy and Albert would face opposition from family and relatives, they wouldn’t wait ten years… 😉

            In fact, I’ll talk about this one day in a separate post. 🙂

          6. Anonymous

            opps!Ms Puddle, j’ai oublié de te dire merci pour me donner le blog d’Agnès!!! Cela serait vraiment très utile!
            Bye the way, you and dear Agnès are very talented!
            Agnès, je pensais que tu étais Canadienne:) Don’t ask me from where I took this impression because je ne sais pas:)
            cheers,

          7. Ms Puddle

            Merci beaucoup, Luna!! Glad you like the link I shared! I’m so glad you and Agnès could meet here. I’m sure Antlay will be delighted as well 🙂

          8. Agnès

            Ah! Ah! Ah! Tu m’as bien fait rire Luna car je pensais que tu étais une pure anglophone, ton anglais est vraiment excellent! 😆
            Pour mon blog, il est tout récent et c’est juste un “bébé” à côté de celui de Ms Puddle! 😉

          9. Luna

            Ms Puddle, It seems i couldn’t send my post! Anyway, Shortly, thank you very much for giving me Agnès’ blog. I will check it out!
            Agnès, somehow I was thinking tu es canadienne mais I don’t know why I have this impression:)
            cheers ladies

        3. Reeka

          Hi Luna! Have you ever visited Begui’s blog? Maybe you got the conclusion about that 10 years after reading her post about Anohito? A year ago, if you googled “Candy Candy CCFS Anohito”, google would put Begui’s blog in top search. She actually wrote an amazing analysis there, but I don’t agree with her on few things. She’s one of those who believed that Albert and Candy couldn’t be married in America because their social status. And she did imply in her analysis that on CCFS’ present time in England ( 1930s) , Albert and Candy had just married a couple of years. I don’t agree on this. Both in manga and CCFS, Mizuki obviously showed how powerful William Albert Ardley was. As Ms Puddle said, they might get difficulties, but not in a way that WAA couldn’t handle. I am one of those who believe that after Uncle William’s revelation, Aunt Elroy would gradually soften to Candy because now she hadn’t had The Leagans around. In manga, we could see that even Aunt Elroy had that stoned and frightening facial expression :), she had never had bad attitude nor decision that wasn’t influenced by The Leagans.

          That’s my guess, Luna. 🙂

          1. Ms Puddle

            Yes, I mostly agree with Reeka except the part about Aunt Elroy. I think she was a typical old lady in the high society, and they were used to having maids and servants around, just like the Leagans. Madam Elroy might be influenced by the Leagans, but she made decisions on her own for many years as the powerful matriarch.

            Yet, deep down, I think she really loved her nephew. Eventually, she would give her blessings to him and Candy. Albert was proven again and again to be strong enough to stand his ground, and he wouldn’t easily give in. He could readily run away with Candy if he wanted to. It wasn’t like he had never run away 😉

          2. Luna

            Hi Reeka,
            Thank you very much for this suggestion. I will visit this blog as well. Actually,after reading Ms Puddle s important indication about the chronology, I m getting more involved in the CCFS. I believe that she ended with Albert but also I believe that Albert is someone very determined. From the beginning, this character is very reliable even he kept his identity secret. Actually I don’ t know under which circumstances he grew up and even I don’t know whether he loved someone else or not before Candy( probably he did, even Candy had two before him). Anyway, as you and others said, he is courageous enough in order to manage his life or to take actions. I have no doubt about this indeed:)

          3. Ms Puddle

            Yes Luna. In short, it’s obvious that Albert was willing to fight for Candy, the woman he loved. 🙂

          4. Evelyn

            Hi Reeka, Ms Puddle and Luna, I also read that blog last year. She really did a good job creating a timeline. At first before I discovered Ms Puddle’s website, that blog is all i had to go by and it got me started in my search for CCFS. Soon after that I read the manga for the first time. I didn’t belong to any one group per say, I just came to the conclusion that Albert was the one after much reading and analyzing the story.

            I feel that aunt Elroy was truly afraid and respected the authority of William Albert Ardley. When he revealed himself at the engagement party, aunt Elroy was petrified and when Albert revealed to her that it had been Candy who cared for him when amnesiac, all she said were half sentences like “but then…” and “then she?” not sure what she meant by that but I feel that she had many questions that were disproving the Leagan’s claims and perhaps she could start having a new sense of respect for Candy eventually? All she knew about her was that she was a thief and a gold digger based on accusations from Elisa, Neil and their mother. So, I do feel that eventually aunt Elroy would start accepting Candy as her niece-in-law? is that even a real word? 🙂 but you know what I mean!! 😀

          5. Ms Puddle

            Yes I think so too, Evelyn! Aunt Elroy had full respect and love for her only nephew, and he meant the world to her. When she murmured that line after the shocking revelation, I think it was a mix of astonishment, regret, relief or more? After all, Candy was the one who had rescued her nephew. 🙂

          6. Reeka

            My dear Ms Puddle, sorry I wrote it incomplete … What I meant was in manga Aunt Elroy had never had bad attitude or bad decision to Candy without The Leagans’ influences. From the very beginning, her mind was poisoned by them regarding to Candy. Of course, by nature Aunt Elroy was typical of high society women who weren’t keen on having someone from lowly origin around. In fact, I also believe even though she eventually accepted Candy into the family, deep down she still wanted Albert marry a high society lady. I can’t blame her, though. But like you mentioned, when Albert decided to marry Candy, Aunt Elroy wouldn’t do much to against it. Having her nephew running away again was the last thing she ever wanted 🙂

            Luna,
            Oh so you have yet read it? Oops… hehehe sorry, I thought you got the conclusion of that 10 years issue from there. Well, now that you’ve read most of Ms Puddle’s posts and our friend here have covered almost everything we wanted to know from CCFS, I think you don’t miss a thing from Begui’s. You may read it as recreational source and if I may suggest you, spare quite a lot of time when you want to read it. She did write a marvellous piece of writing. See it yourself and you know what I mean, dear Luna 🙂

            Dear Evelyn,
            yes, back then, a year ago and so, Begui’s was all we had in order to get our CCFS fix. Because of her, I knew “Amor Aeternus” fan fiction and until now it’s still one of my faves. I’m glad you gave the manga a chance, Evelyn. I know some people turn a blind eye and prefer anime version.

            Evelyn and Ms Puddle, Yes, you right, at the forced engagement party, it’s clear that Aunt Elroy’s facial expression was a mixture of astonishment, relief, and probably embarrassment of knowing that the poor and homeless man who lived with Candy and she accused of immorality was actually her beloved nephew.

            Ms Puddle, I like what you said here, that Albert meant the world to Aunt Elroy. It’s what I got when I first read CCFS’ spoilers. Everything she did, even it was bad in execution, she did it because she thought it was good for Albert. Albert himself admitted it. From there, my feeling toward Aunt Elroy changed and I began to like this old woman.

          7. Evelyn

            Hi Reeka, yes I’m glad I read the manga. Like most fans I had only watched the anime but was sooooo frustrated with the ending and why didn’t they show the engagement party and wanted to see how the others reacted to knowing who Albert really was. At that point I did not know that the manga existed. Then Bequi’s blog talked about Rockstown and other scenes that I did not remember seeing in the anime so I figured there had to be another source of information for Candy Candy and found the manga as well as the existence of CCFS. Amor Aeternus chapter 27 is what I have read for the Epilogue’s spoiler! The rest of the chapters are a fic right?

          8. Reeka

            Evelyn,

            Wait … there’s no engagement party in anime? I own the complete CDs of anime, but frankly I haven’t really watched it in detail. So no WAA’s revelation scene in front of family and relatives? 🙁 Oh boy, another reason not to watch it. Manga is the very first source of CC story, it’s published around 1975 I guess. Not long after that, Mizuki released the old CC novel. Anime was somewhere in 1980s?

            Amor Aeternus chap 27 was also the first spoilers I read. Yes, the rest was Geobacter’s story.

          9. Quevivacandy

            Hey there, greetings to all!

            Nop Reeka, no engagement party, no spring coat and Rockstown episode, awful WAA revelation to Candy, she even told him, Albert, what are you doing here? please go before anyone could see you… and he replied to her something like, ‘I’m tired to be hiding, my name is William Albert Andrew’… so you are uncle William… that’s right, little one…plop! grrrr… lol…and there is more, it was him whom pushed her to VISIT Pony’s Home, just to find out what she wants to do now. Then, the horrible ending…

            I also was like Evelyn the first time I read Bequi’s Journal, what is Rockstown? what party? Maybe that is part of CCFS… lol… until I found the manga!!! and my eyes were opened… even more! sigh!

          10. Ms Puddle

            Sigh… I agree with both QuevivaCandy and Evelyn. It’s obvious the anime version disappointed us, but Reeka, the anime actually finished before the manga. They got the plot from Mizuki, but for some reason the anime made changes here and there, even omitting important scenes like Rockstown and the engagement party. Hence, the manga is the closest to Mizuki’s script, and even CCFS is based on the manga version.

          11. Evelyn

            That is too funny Reeka! 😆 That’s right Quevivacandy and Ms Puddle! I was also like What Rockstown? What? Where? ¿Que? You know, I had no idea what Bequi was talking about?? I think she mentioned the word “manga” and started researching what it even meant cause I never heard it either…. Let’s just say that the anime created their own ending as they saw fit. It was not Mizuki’s ending. I wonder why Mizuki did not fight it? I would have been angry!! grrrr…..

          12. Ms Puddle

            I don’t understand either, Evelyn! I was told she was overseas then. In fact, Igarashi made some changes in the manga too while Mizuki was away, but when she returned, she made Igarashi redraw those scenes. What we see now in the manga was the way Mizuki wanted. 🙂

          13. Reeka

            Did it, Ms Puddle? Oops I thought anime launched after manga completed. With this fact, I don’t know, but I feel happier. Because now we know, by ending the manga the way Mizuki did in Volume 9 ( Rockstown and engagement party was part of it, too ), she seemed disapproving how the anime executed. I mean, if she liked anime’s plot, why made the ending in manga different?

            Wooohooo … great, isn’t it?! And I thought I couldn’t be more certain of Albert being the one. And of course, CCFS mentions nothing in anime that wasn’t in manga. **people, who laughs the loudest now?** 😀

          14. Ms Puddle

            Yes Reeka!! LOL… For example, Rockstown is in CCFS but not in the anime. 😉

  5. Reeka

    Beautiful post, Ms Puddle. 🙂 Especially the second half part, I was reading it with glistening eyes. Candy’s last letter to Albert always has this effect on me.

    “Now is my happiness” or “Herein lies my happiness, in now” is never confusing for me. Well, probably because I read only in English. Albert hadn’t asked whether she was happy … he asked where her happiness was. So it is crystal clear to me that what Candy meant was : her happiness was what she had been feeling right now. In HERE and in NOW. And her life at that time revolved around Albert, we can see that from their letters exchange. Moreover this letter was put very near of the end of CCFS, just before Anohito coming home.

    Agree with you, to consider Terry as Anohito is non-sense. Candy was on her recollection. And right before Anohito came, she had been thinking about Albert a lot, reading their old correspondence in nostalgic mood, and ended by recalling her mental letter to Anthony in which she couldn’t even mention Terry. How could possibly Anohito be Terry then? 😉 Like he’s some kind of Genie in a bottle that came out suddenly.

    Back to action speaks louder than words, like the above written lyrics on your post, I remember the lion marks on Albert’s chest ( have u mentioned it in part 1? I forgot … too many discussion LOL). Was it pictured on left chest in manga? Did Mizuki re-tell the scene in CCFS, Ms Puddle? Well, I imagine how Candy would react when she saw it again when she married Albert :). It’s like a lifetime mark that would remind her about Albert’s unconditional love.

    1. Ms Puddle

      Hello dear Reeka! Genie that came out of nowhere? You made me laugh!! LOL! Yup, if indeed Terry was Anohito, he seemed so out of place because he was hardly mentioned in the entire epilogue.

      This letter from Candy to Albert was written beautifully; it was truly filled with love and gratitude. She was so in love with her prince, and she averred her feelings for him by using different examples.

      I figure Candy used “now and only now” to answer Albert was to assure him that she had absolutely no interest in living in the past. She was very happy and content with her prince now. I really wonder how Albert was going to react after reading this letter. I can imagine why Candy said she wouldn’t be able to sleep again. She was in love, no doubt.

      The lion’s attack wasn’t mentioned in CCFS as far as I know although it was in the old CC novel. Yes, the lion left its marks on Albert’s left chest and arm, as shown in the Japanese manga version. I believe he hadn’t had time to think in that very instant. Actions speak louder than words indeed. Sigh…

      1. Reeka

        LOL … that Genie was what’s in my mind when I was typing the comment. The more I read CCFS epilogue spoilers, the more I get assurance that Terry was no where in Candy’s present time.

        Ms Puddle, about the japanese spoilers about Candy’s happiness, here I want to say I understand you completely. I’ve just paid attention to the sentences. On second sentence, I don’t know the kanji, the 4th character from the latest, and I’m pretty sure that 4th character and the “se” next to it create word “happiness”. But I understand the rest of them.

        Yes, Candy didn’t simply say ” I am happy now”, but it is ” Now is my happiness”. it’s a whole lot different between these two sentences. I don’t know why I feel a need to repeat what you write above. LOL. Probably I just want to make assurance to those who ever doubt Anohito was Albert, that you Ms Puddle, do really know what you write in your blog. 🙂

        Too bad Mizuki didn’t mention the lion’s attack on CCFS. Now that I’m sure it was on Albert’s left chest, I imagine how moving it was to Candy when she finally could see the mark again. It was at the place where Albert’s heartbeat was. 🙂 sigh.

        1. Ms Puddle

          Totally agree, Reeka! Ever since the breakup, Terry was no longer part of Candy’s life. Before then, they were hardly together anyway. The time they had spent together was so short compared to her time with Albert.

          Yes, you’re right about the Japanese word, 幸せ (shiawase)! That’s the word for happiness, which is a big word in CC. It appears a lot everywhere.

          Thanks for your support, my friend! I’m glad you did notice it would have been very, very different if Candy had only written “I’m happy now.”

          Good point about the scars from the lion’s attack. I also feel it’s too bad this wasn’t mentioned in CCFS. Anyway, not everything in the manga had an equivalent scene in CCFS though. 😉

          1. Reeka

            Ms Puddle, your first paragraph reminded me about an expression we often use in my home country. It originally comes from javanese language. “witing tresno jalaran soko kulino” ( you can google it anyway). In English it may be expressed as : “Love grows because ones get used to each other” or “Love grows over time”. This expression initially referred to those people from decades ago who married by arranged marriages. That love could grow over time. Love could be nurtured.

            This expression reminds me a lot to Albert and Candy’s relationship. Their mutual likenesses, their years of friendship and that time of living together in Magnolia … it’s just so natural for them eventually falling in love to each other.

          2. Ms Puddle

            There’s a similar phrase in the Chinese language as well, meaning that “love grows over long time”! 🙂 It’s just natural for two people to transform deep friendship into love for each other.

  6. Quevivacandy

    Oh my Dear MsPuddle! I cannot believe it while I was reading! I’m with you and I’m impressed how we do think alike… LOL… now it’s my turn to be wide open yes… lol…

    I agree that she took with her the diary, with the idea of read it later but I can see her contemplating it, doubting what to do. She also said in the unsent letter that she was pretty sure to have made the right decision (give up to Terry), so what the point to re-read her diary and as you said, She had a great memory so she knew and remember every line that was written there. I see the act of returning the diary to Albert was like saying him, the past is in the past and now I want to live my present…. with you??? lol… well, she kind of said it that.

    Oh my! Since it is a long post, I read paragraphs and then write my comment about that. Then resume my reading and I couldn’t believe my eyes when I read “because she decided to bury her past”… we really think alike… lol…

    About the badge, yup, I think it was unique and you are not to believe me… I guess she returned him the badge at her birthday party. We know after POTH revelation, they didn’t see each other until that party, then he had to travel and next time they met, it was when he took her to Lakewood. So I guess she returned the badge at the BP and then he gave it to her, once in Lakewood. At what time, I have no idea, but since you said in Endearing nickname about his porpuse to let her know his nickname in the letter, I can see him pondering in Sao Paulo, with the badge in his hand and then, made up his mind and write the letter, so I guess he had planned everything while he was still at Brazil. Visit Lakewood, let her know the story behind his nickname, gave her the badge and to conclude… the diary… waaa… what a beautiful story!

    And I have said this many times before, for me, she was telling him at saying “now is my happiness”, the HE is her happiness. Yes, in spanish it also sounds weird but not even a blind could misunderstood her words.

    Already looking forward your next post.. mua ha ha… I know you have much more to say… mua ha ha

    Hugs!

    1. Ms Puddle

      Exactly, dear QuevivaCandy!! The return of the diary was Candy’s unspoken answer to Albert’s question: the past was in the past, and she lived in the present now. In short, she was happy and content with her prince. 😀

      We do think so much alike! If people didn’t know, they would have thought we had talked about this beforehand LOL!

      Yes, like you, I have a feeling Candy had thought about re-reading her diary, so she took it home. However, she changed her mind and decided not to touch it again, so that was why the safest way was to pass it back to Albert to keep it for her. Then she probably would never ask him about it again. 😉

      I also wonder when exactly Candy returned the badge to Albert. If she did return on her birthday as you said, that means Albert had got it back for a while before he awarded it to her as his gift? 🙂 Great imagination! Since none of this is clear in CCFS, will you write this beautiful plot in your fic? 😛

      Yup, as I said before, Candy said NOW for at least two reasons. First, the past wasn’t where her happiness was (no looking back). Besides, it was what happened to her now that mattered, that is, she and her prince were not only in love with each other, but they were also grateful to each other. 😀 They practically knew each other inside out, don’t you think? They had been sharing their sandwich all this time, and it’s beautiful, isn’t it?

      Hugs to you too from a distance! 🙂

      1. Quevivacandy

        Hey my friend, since yesterday the ‘now and only now’ kept spinning around my head… hehehe and came back to read it… I guess I understand more now that NOW… :p Anyhow, keeps seems to me the same answer as you said it, her happiness lies in him him, only this time she reafirms it. (hope I understood this right)

        Yes, they were so greatful to each other. He changed her world and she helped him to live in his own while he was amnesic. The bond between them is so so so strong and cannot be destroyed and it goes beyond a friendship, they simply are in love. Some people think, and I guess I’m part of them, they could knew what the other was thinking, they knew each other very well, and yes, without noticing, they shared their sandwich all this time. Oh my, remember I mentioned that on the fic? lol…

        About the returning of the badge, I was pretty sure it happened sometime during the BP ’cause there was no time in the POTH revelation, George interrupted them and all the time in the past, she wanted to meet again with POTH to return him the gadge and talks to him a lot. So I guess she found the opportunity on the party only that he had to leave soon. Then, when he gave it back to her, as we already said, should be in Lakewood. Candy nor Albert mentioned the badge in their letters. It was Candy who did it when she wrote her last letter to Albert so is so easy to imagine all that happened in that visit. And about the fic, let’s see what happened but I guess you already have an idea. 🙂

        1. Ms Puddle

          Yes, my friend! Candy not only returned her precious diary to Albert, she confirmed NOW is her happiness, not her past. 😉

          Their relationship was definitely more than friends or siblings. They went beyond that by then, and they needed and missed each other. Like you, I also think they knew each other so well that they could understand each other without words. A gesture or a raise of an eyebrow meant something already. 🙂

          Yes, your timeline makes sense. Candy must have brought the badge with her on her birthday party in Chicago. It also makes sense for Albert to take a big step by awarding it to her as his gift. 😀

  7. Antlay

    Je reviens sur mon commentaire car j’ai peur de pas bien m’être expliqué !
    Quand Candy dit qu’elle remercie ses parents de l’avoir abandonné à la maison de Pony, elle aurait pû dire tout simplement de m’avoir abandonné, ainsi j’ai pu vous rencontrer. Oui de toute façon elle aurait rencontré Albert même si elle ne l’avait pas vu pour la première fois sur la colline de la Maison de Pony. Elle est partie chez les Leagans car ils habitaient à côté de Lakewood et elle savait qu’Annie habitait dans les environs, donc elle aurait très bien pû faire la rencontre d’Albert par la suite.
    Mais le fait que Mizuki ait precisé que ses parents l’ai abandonné à la Maison de Pony en dit long. Je pense que Candy voulait dire que grâce à cela elle a rencontré son Prince et non pas Albert le vagabond vous me suivez ?

    1. Ms Puddle

      Yes I understand, dear Antlay! You’re right that Candy could have been grateful to her parents by abandoning her… she didn’t have to specify Pony’s Home if she had only meant that she could meet her benefactor in Lakewood… 😛

      As in my reply to you below, Pony’s Home was where little Candy had met her prince, not any other male characters in CC! In fact, Albert was the only male character who had gone to Pony’s Hill with Candy, again and again! 🙂

  8. Antlay

    Bonjour Ms Puddle et Agnès

    Je suis entièrement d’accord. En rendant son journal, c’etait une façon de faire comprendre à Albert qu’elle en avait fini avec le chapitre Terry. Elle dit dans sa lettre non envoyée à Terry, qu’elle est heureuse, là actuellement dans le présent et elle fini en lui disant “Je t’aimais”, elle termine sa lettre au passé.

    Oui vous avez raison Agnès, Albert en rendant son médaillon à Candy, était sa façon de lui demander de partager sa vie à ses côtés, auprès de son Prince.

    Dans sa lettre à Albert, quand Candy dit “Je suis très reconnaissante à mes parents de m’avoir abandonné à la maison de Pony, grâce à cela, j’ai pu vous rencontrer”, elle précise à la maison de Pony, elle aurait pu dire de vous avoir rencontrer tout simplement. Qui a t-elle rencontré à la maison de Pony, son POTH bien évidemment, son premier amour et Albert le sait. Donc en écrivant cela, elle ne pouvait pas être plus clair, c’est sa réponse, son bonheur c’est à partir de maintenant son Prince ! 😀

    Bon week-end 😉

    1. Ms Puddle

      Bonjour Antlay, mon amie! I totally agree with you that Candy had been very consistent. As you said, she had written her unsent letter to Terry by saying “I loved you.” Now she decided to place her diary to Albert’s care only means that Terry continued to belong to her past, and she hadn’t regretted her decision.

      Like I said to Agnès, Albert’s presenting his badge back to Candy could mean different things, but for sure it shows how special Candy was to him. It was like he gave part of himself to her. After that, I don’t think he would ever ask it back. 😉 He would continue to watch over her regardless of her decision in her life.

      Yes, Antlay, I’m going to talk about Candy’s words of being grateful to her parents in a different post. Thanks for bringing it up, and you’re absolutely right, that was where little Candy had met her prince (not any other male characters in CC)! 😀

      Bon weekend! 😀

  9. Agnès

    Hello Ms Puddle,

    The pleasure and the honor are mine, Ms Puddle! Thank you for your mention! 😀

    Terry had certainly loved Candy but not unconditionally and not in the way she deserved to be.
    If you think, it was the war Candy could have been in danger, he hadn’t news of her even thinking she was always in England and he couldn’t go back to pick her because of his career? 🙁 At least why he hadn’t contact Miss Pony to have some news? It was possible since he had paid them a visit! Once again, inconsistent Terry! The more I think, the more I’m disappointed by his behavior! Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to say Terry was a bad guy, he was only humane after with his imperfections but, he simply didn’t deserve Candy’s love !

    About the diary, it was a symbol of her past love for Terry, no doubt for me when Candy returned back to Albert she wanted to show him her mourn for Terry was ended. I completely agree with you both, Ms Puddle and Quevivacandy Albert wanted her to choice the “path”: him or Terry, it was why he gave her back! He was ready to give up on her to respect her choice once again. What an awesome man! <3

    The badge, perhaps it could be a sort of commitment, a symbol of a promise or proposal of mariage, why not ? After all he could have give it to his future spouse to pass it to his heir once born. Only my own interpretation! 😉

    “Now is my happiness” the answer of Candy to “Where”, oh! It is brilliant, Ms Puddle! If I got it, she could have said I’m happy now and it wasn’t the same signification! Indeed, she was happy since she knew Albert had feeling for her! 😉 😀 Therefore “now” because I meet true love! I don’t know if I was clear, it is not always easy to put my thoughts in English!

    Great weekend to all! 😀

    1. Ms Puddle

      Merci Agnès! 🙂 Your English is actually very good, so don’t feel awkward at all! 🙂

      Yeah, Terry might have loved Candy, but not enough to make him change his plan even when she might be in danger… Sigh. As you said, he was inconsistent. In fact, when I first read the manga, I already had questions and doubts in my mind like yours. After knowing that Candy was in Chicago, he acted like she was important to him. Yet, after the accident, he gave her up too easily. No explanation or apology were given to Candy either. 🙁

      I guess I’d better stop or else people would think I hate him… LOL. No I don’t hate him. He was just young and immature, and some fans have overestimated his feelings for Candy.

      Anyway, back to Candy’s diary, her action was loud and clear that she was completely over Terry. I don’t understand why some people insist otherwise, that it shows it was too painful for her to read the diary. O_o

      I agree with you about the significance of the badge. No matter what it means, I believe Albert would continue to watch over Candy even if she decided to stay single, waiting for Terry. If so, Albert might move on, but Candy would forever remain special to him. Some people even said this badge represented his heart. Sigh… 😉

      Yup, you got it, my friend! Candy used “NOW” as her answer is brilliant. She used the same answer to two questions, that she was happy with her prince and would not look back. Her Prince on the Hill now reciprocated her feelings, and the love between them would last. That was why she found her happiness. 😀

      You have a great weekend too! 🙂

  1. Did Candy find her happiness? (Part 2) » Ms Puddle's Haven

    […] to “Now is my happiness”. I have explained in another post before that this sentence puts the emphasis in “now”, so it means “now and only now”. In fact, this sentence also implies her preference […]

  2. Old Candy Candy Novel » Ms Puddle's Haven

    […] to Albert that she hadn’t opened her old diary and even decided to entrust it to Albert (see More than words (Part 2) for your […]

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