Argh, he’s driving me crazy …
Today, I’m going to discuss in detail a small paragraph in Candy Candy Final Story (CCFS), and many of you might have read this from the spoilers already:
Brother and sister.
Albert and I had been living together pretending so.
Is it like this if I live with my family?
No, it may have been slightly different from family.
I don’t know how to describe it but somewhere inside me, I knew that Albert was special.
What kind of thoughts does Albert have about us …
Argh, he’s driving me crazy …
The Candy Candy fan has done a great job translating this short paragraph about Candy’s feelings for Albert, especially the last line. However, the fan made a minor mistake because Candy mainly used past tense except for the last line. Here is the original text in Japanese for the last several sentences:
うまく説明できないけれど、心のどこかで、アルバートさんは特別な存在なのだ、とわかっていた。
アルバートさんがどう思っていたのか―――
ほんとに、もう、憎らしいったらない……。
If I translate the above word for word, I’d say
Cannot explain well, but somewhere in (my) heart, Albert-san had a special existence, and I understood that.
What sort of thoughts did Albert-san have…
Really, argh, he vexes me beyond description…
This paragraph appears in CCFS after Candy’s recollection of the conversation she had had with Albert after discovering his true identity. Candy then remembered the time when she and Albert had been pretending to be brother and sister, living together for many months. She believed that it was slightly different from living with family members. I want to know how she had arrived at this conclusion because she had never grown up in a real family, but for sure her heart told her that Albert had been special to her even though she couldn’t quite explain that to herself.
When do you think this happened? During his absence in her life? Or after she knew who he really was? I’d like to hear from you. 🙂
At any rate, one can’t ignore that Candy clearly said Albert was special to her (or had a special place in her heart). She compared him to a family member (brother in her case) and acknowledged that something was different. Did she mean he was not just a brother to her? Or what did she exactly mean? 😉
Then Candy wondered what thoughts Albert had about xxx? She didn’t finish that sentence, but there may be a few possibilities. She might be wondering what thoughts Albert had about them, their relationship or her as a lady or a friend. Perhaps she might even wonder if he had similar thoughts like hers, that she was also special to him. 🙄
Anyway, the last sentence is very crucial. It is an expression of strong exasperation. Note that the adjective Candy used, nikurashī (憎らしい), literally means “hateful”. Are you shocked? 😉 Yet, it is a milder version of the related word nikui (憎い), which is very different from a smiliar word, kirai (嫌い). The major difference is that when someone uses kirai, one doesn’t care about what he or she hates (just state the fact and very objective) whereas if the word nikui is used, the person cares about the opponent, so to speak. If you can read Japanese, this page gives very thorough explanations of the differences between nikui and kirai.
For example, you use kirai if you want to tell your friend that you hate bugs. No feeling is involved but this implies you want to stay away from bugs as much as possible.
On the other hand, when someone says she hates her mother, she will use the word nikui if she actually cares about her mother. Sometimes, when one says he hates his rival using the word nikui, he gives an obvious hint that he admires his rival too.
I hope you understand what I’m trying to say here. 😉 Back to the adjective Candy used, nikurashī, it is not as strong as nikui. More importantly, nikurashī can be used in an ironic way to convey that the said person is in fact dear to the speaker, or the speaker’s heart is drawn to that particular person.
An example in Japanese is, 私を夢中にさせた憎らしい人, which means that “the hateful (nikurashī) person whom I was obsessed with” or “the hateful (nikurashī) person who drove me crazy”. It’s a cute way to express a strong emotion to someone very dear and close.
A lady often reserves this adjective, nikurashī, for the man whom she loves very much, such as boyfriend or husband. 😉 The closest equivalent in English I can think of is “she’s mad about him” or “she’s crazy about him”. When we say we are crazy about someone or mad about someone, it means that we are actually very fond of that someone, right? 😛
Last but not the least, Candy used the phrase ったらない right after the adjective nikurashī to emphasize that no words could describe it. When this particular phrase is used after an adjective, it essentially means “nothing more … than this” or “as …. as it could possibly be”.
Since Candy used present tense for this last sentence, is it possible that Albert hasn’t yet revealed the details of his feelings for her back then? Who knows? Perhaps she wished she could find out even more about what had gone through his mind back in the old days? 😉 Or she in her thirties suddenly remembers something else about Albert? 😛
It’s unclear why exactly Candy is extremely annoyed at that moment because she didn’t really finish her thought in her previous sentence, 😛 but the adjective she has used implies she actually loves Albert very much. 🙂 In other words, Albert is NOW someone very dear to Candy (Anohito).
Therefore, I think the Candy Candy fan who has translated this last sentence to “he’s driving me crazy…” is indeed brilliant! Bravo! 😀
Encore une analyse fort intéressante Ms Puddle ! 🙂
Bien sûr que Candy ne pouvait pas confondre ce qu’elle ressentait pour Albert ni avec de l’amour fraternel comme l’a dit Quevivacandy, elle a vécu avec Annie, Tom. Ni avec de l’amour filial, il n’en a jamais été question entre eux, de toute façon elle a ignoré le statut d’Albert pendant des années et justement au moment où selon moi elle est tombée amoureuse de lui quand il a quitté la maison de Magnolia. Ni avec l’amitié, elle en a connu pas mal des amis masculins à commencer par Archie et Stear dont elle n’a jamais été amoureuse. Elle savait donc que pour Albert c’était forcément autre chose alors quoi d’autre sinon de l’amour d’une femme envers un homme ?
D’ailleurs, de découvrir qu’Albert était son tuteur légal a dû la perturber énormément car savoir qu’on a des sentiments amoureux pour la personne qui vous a adoptée, cela a dû la rendre folle aussi à ce moment-là pas que maintenant, d’ignorer les véritables sentiments d’Albert car elle ne pouvait pas lui révéler qu’elle l’aimait, à l’époque une jeune femme ne pouvait pas se livrer ainsi !
Elle dit « I understood that » elle utilise le passé donc elle avait déjà réalisé la vraie nature de ses propres sentiments envers Albert quand elle a su sa véritable identité.
Mais si elle utilise le temps présent pour la dernière phrase, cela voudrait donc effectivement dire qu’Albert n’a toujours pas clarifié la situation à propos de ses sentiments envers elle à l’époque ! C’est quand même étrange ! Veut-il garder une part du mystère pour taquiner sa femme (Candy) ? Venait-elle juste d’en parler avec lui avant qu’il ne sorte? En fait elle ne termine pas les deux dernières phrases… beaucoup de sous-entendus… mais je dirais qu’à mon avis on ne devient pas « crazy » en se questionnant à propos des pensées d’un ami ou d’un frère…, seul le sentiment amoureux peut le faire ! 😉
Tout à fait d’accord avec Reeka, la haine n’est pas l’opposé de l’amour car entre les deux sentiments il n’y a parfois qu’un pas. On peut « détester » le sentiment d’amour qu’une personne nous suscite lorsqu’il n’est pas partagé ou si on ignore s’il est réciproque et c’est ce qui peut nous rendre fou !
Ah Mizuki, you drive us crazy ! Lol! 😀
Bonjour chère Agnès! Thank you for your comment. I was worried that my analysis was too complicated to understand, but at least some of you have understood me without any problem! 😉
It’s so true that Mizuki is driving us crazy LOL!!! At least I have mixed feelings about CCFS. I love some parts very much but also wished she would have done other things. Sigh!!!!! 😉
However, you’re absolutely right about Candy being able to tell if she loved a man in a romantic way or not. Right from the beginning she already treated Anthony very differently from Stear and Archie. She wasn’t dumb, and she knew what it was like to have admirers. She sensed Archie’s feelings for her, and yet she avoided him somewhat and ‘pushed’ him to Annie. 😛
Yes, lots of implications and/or hints based on Candy’s wordings regarding her feelings for Albert, but like you said, she wouldn’t care much if Albert was merely a friend or brother to her. Their friendship must have changed somehow while living together for so long.
Therefore, when Candy said Albert was special, it really means something significant. As you said, if romance wasn’t involved I don’t know what was. 😉
So I agree with you that it was very difficult for Candy to express her true feelings for Albert the moment she discovered his identity. She might not fully understand her emotions yet, but she couldn’t deny he had taken a special spot in her heart. No wonder she became angry with him for a long while after that… LOL… 😛 Similar to what Reeka said, Candy either blamed Albert for hiding the truth from her all this time or she was frustrated and yet desperate to find out how he felt about her. Talking about love and hate relationship… 😉
Ya, this line sure speaks a lot about how Candy felt about Albert, Ms Puddle. Yes, we didn’t find any love word between them on manga and CCFS, but it takes no genious to read between the lines Mizuki wrote, especially on CCFS. Thanks to you, perhaps some people would finally open their eyes. 🙂
Even in your direct translation, it’s obvious that Candy felt confused and frustrated ( in a good way) with Albert’s attitude. And I agree with QuevivaCandy that Albert said “it would be better if you looked more grown up so people wouldn’t think you as my sister” could be the trigger for this confusion of Candy’s.
I believe it happened during their time of exchanging letters. When Candy might feel that the way Albert wrote to her was more playful and hints of his feeling were obvious. I can feel her actually. Sometimes when we’re close to a man but not officially dating yet, we’re frustrated to see the clues, to catch the true meaning of his attention. Right? And Candy was a typical impulsive young woman who sometimes was clumsy, mostly extrovert on showing her feeling, and as you said on previous post, she did tend to judge someone by what it looked on outside. Understandably, Albert’s calm and calculating actions would drive her crazy! 🙂
If she was feeling nothing special to him, why she sounded desperate anyway? Why going crazy over none insignificant? 🙂
I understand your explanation about the word HATE. She used the word hate was not because she hates Albert as a person, but she might hate him for being confusing and mysterious. Or, she might herself for overthinking his true feeling to her. As usually she never cared of what people think/feel to her.
It’s said that the opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference. 🙂
Btw Ms Puddle, Happy Lunar New Year!
Hello dear Reeka! Thank you for the new year’s wish! 🙂
Yes, indeed this line speaks volumes of Candy’s relationship with Albert, at present (in her thirties). I didn’t realize this until I got to read the original text. It’s amazing how Mizuki has scattered the hints here and there for us to hunt. 😉 As you said, if Candy didn’t care about Albert a bit, she wouldn’t be so affected emotionally. Bravo to whoever said the opposite of love is indifference. That can’t be more true! LOL!
But Candy did use the word ‘love’ for Albert… Remember she closed her last letter to him with love and gratitude? Likewise, he wanted to make her happy, and isn’t it clear that her happiness meant a lot to him? 😉
I think you’re probably right that Albert’s remark about not wanting others to mistake her for his sister could be the trigger. Like QuevivaCandy has said, Candy had realized that Albert was special prior to her discovery of his true identity, so what he said could confuse her.
I also agree with you that Candy might get even more puzzled and/or frustrated by his heartfelt letters to her about himself. The more Albert wrote, the more bewildered she got.
Yet, when Candy mentioned Albert driving her crazy, she was talking about him NOW. It was written in present tense as I said, and probably he’s still somewhat mysterious to her about the old times. Or it could be something else entirely. If they are indeed a married couple, there are things that he does that vexes her, but she actually loves him anyhow. 🙂
Ms Puddle,
About the last sentence written in present tense, I think it’s not necessarily applied only for the moment Candy was recollecting, right? I can safely conclude it means Candy thought Albert had been keeping on driving her crazy, since those times when they hadn’t been dating yet, until now being married to him for years. That being so close and married to him doesn’t stop him to keep “surprising” her.
Or maybe, even they’re married now ( on ccfs), Albert still kept secret about when exactly he fell in love with her, why he left her alone that night and why he didn’t tell her when he regained memory? I don’t know, but as you said Ms Puddle, whatever it was that annoyed her at that moment on ccfs, it’s clear that she loved him a lot.
After all, the line “he/she’s driving me crazy” most of the times has positive meaning. It’s kind of craziness we enjoy :). And it is great actually that after years of marriage ( with children perhaps), Albert was still able to make Candy crazy hahahha. It’s a nice hint from Mizuki, don’t you think? **with NSYNC’s You Drive Me Crazy as the soundtrack** 🙂
NSYNC’s U Drive Me Crazy is a good one, Reeka! Excellent description of someone falling head over heels for another 😀
Mizuki, oh Mizuki… this reminds me of Candy writing to Albert (her prince) at least twice that she wouldn’t be able to sleep because of him. Now, isn’t that clear enough that she was a woman in love?
Yes I think you’re right that perhaps Albert hasn’t stopped giving Candy “surprises” after all these years, or somehow he managed to keep their marriage alive by his ability to drive her crazy… LOL! I can’t agree with you more that no matter what annoyed Candy at that very instant, we could tell that she loved the man whom she was talking about.
Great analysis my friend. I did understand what you meant by using that specific word ins japanese… 🙂
but one thing is for sure, Candy was aware that their relationship was not the one sibilings has or what is in a family, I mean relatives.
Even she didn’t have a family, I sense she could recognized those feelings. She know what is to love a brother or a sister (Tom and Annie), mother’s love (Miss Pony and Sister Maria) or what is a dad’s love (Vincent Brown), but what both had was completely and that is why she asked herself what do they have.
I guess she found out Albert was so important to her during his absense. When she discovered his true identity she already knew it and was shocked after discovered who he really was. And then, the way he behaves with her and the things he said to her, I no wonder why he was driving her crazy… She didn’t know his real feelings and I guess she already knew her own ones and was dying to find what he felt for her.
Hmm… I guess I get lost… lol…. waaaa… hahaha
Anyway, maybe he was playing with her while he makes his last confession, just to check her reactions? who knows!
Very well said, dear QuevivaCandy! You’re absolutely right that Candy indeed understood what it was like loving different family members! It makes sense to me now, thank you!
Like you, I also think that Candy realized that Albert was special during his absense in her life. Perhaps she had never missed someone this much before (as far as I know, I haven’t seen her missing Terry this way… Or have I missed anything in the manga?).
You might be right that Candy had always wanted to find out the truth — his feelings for her back in those days, but Albert hadn’t revealed much? He loved her through his actions, not words? I don’t know… LOL… So, even now in her thirties, she still wondered what he had felt back then? Funny… 😉
But what did you mean by Albert playing with her when he made his last confession? I’m sorry I don’t get that… ??
I told you, I get lost I couldn’t organize my thoughts… lol… my kids were talking to me and just hit the send button… :p
Well, I just remember Albert previous words for Candy’s recollection…
It suits me if you look a little more grown-up rather than people think you’re my sister …
And then, just thought maybe he was playing with her in those days just to find out her feelings for him by saying those words… hmm… I don’t know if I explain myself again… :/
And about Terry, there is nothing! She just wanted to see him again, longing for that moment but I don’t see her missing him like crazy as she did it with Albert… 🙂
LOL, QuevivaCandy… 😉 Oh, so you were saying that Albert teased Candy about not wanting people to think she was his sister? 🙂 I might also discuss that passage one day. Sometimes I wonder if I explain the Japanese words or phrases well enough. 🙂
I agree with you about Candy not missing Terry to the same extent. She thought about him and really wanted to meet him again, but never shed tears yearning to see his face the way she longed for Albert. 🙂
Ahhh and about Candy’s present words, maybe they were said after she discovered his true identity and recall the time in the Magnolia? hmm I’m not sure if I’m being clear…
not the present in her thirties but her present when she discovered he was uncle william…?
That I can answer you, QuevivaCandy dear. In CCFS, whenever Candy used present tense (not in her letters to people of course), that means the PRESENT moment when she is in her thirties. Does this make sense to you? I’ve modified my post to clarify myself already. Thanks for pointing it out, my friend! 🙂