To truly love someone…

Remember in Candy and Prince on the Hill (Part 5) I talked about Candy receiving a parcel from Albert (page 95 of manga volume 9)? On page 96, Candy opened the package and found a brief note inside from Albert:

キャンディ
一足先に春のプレゼント
どこにいても君のことを想っている……
アルバート

Candy
A present for Spring in advance
Thinking about you wherever I am…
Albert

Since Candy had been wondering where Albert could be, without second thought, she decided to go there to find him, despite not knowing where Rockstown was:

アルバートさん……
あたし会いにいきます
このロックスタウンに

Albert-san…
I will go to meet you there
In this Rockstown

きっときっと
いてくださいね……

Please you must, you must stay…

Yes, Candy said きっと twice, which means certainly, definitely, surely, must, etc. Sounds like this was her sincere wish. Therefore, even when it was snowing, Candy put on the Spring coat, the present from Albert, and ventured into the unknown town. Yet, Candy found Terry instead, drunk and miserable. Later, after talking to Miss Eleanor Baker about Terry’s prolonged depression, Candy didn’t return to the roadside theatre again to ask about Terry that night nor the following day. I mean, if Candy was still deeply in love with Terry, wouldn’t she be concerned if he was truly OK? Was Candy able to sleep that night after the long talk with Terry’s mom?

Those who are familiar with the manga knew that Candy carried out her original mission of coming to Rockstown early next morning. She asked around the town about Albert until she became exhausted.

I have a feeling that Candy’s thoughts had been preoccupied with her plan to track down Albert. She probably was unaware that Terry had left the town the previous night, 😮 and I don’t suppose she had considered the consequences of her actions… What if Terry suddenly appeared and found her looking for Albert? 🙄

Anyway, it wasn’t until Candy was on her way back to Chicago did she realize Albert’s real intention of sending her the parcel from Rockstown. Many people interpreted this scene as her way to finally close her chapter with Terry.

Regardless, Candy had drastically changed. Gone was the girl who kept chasing after Terry.

In fact, at least several weeks later (winter was long over and Candy could wear short sleeves), Albert related to Candy in front of a fireplace about Terry’s return to Broadway. Judging from her reactions, she hadn’t followed Terry’s news at all (Albert said he had read from the tabloids). Was Candy deliberately avoiding Terry’s news?

Yes, in Candy Candy Final Story (CCFS), Candy wrote to Miss Eleanor Baker that she tried not to read about Terry, though his news kept showing up. (What a contrast to the girl who used to clip Terry’s news!) Candy explained that she had gone to Rockstown to look for a missing person who had helped her a lot (i.e. Albert). Candy also added that she had promised Susanna not to see Terry again. Can’t you tell that Candy was politely reminding Miss Baker that her dear son now belonged to the actress? Candy was discreet and wrote that it was an accident that she had run into Terry in Rockstown. You know, Miss Baker might have assumed Candy had been just as desperate as herself, following Terry everywhere.

Apparently, Candy knew what she was doing. Her tone was overall matter-of-fact and distant. If, deep down, Candy was agonized by the fact that Terry had chosen Susanna over her, Candy would have sounded completely different in her letter to Miss Baker. Besides, if Candy had been waiting for Terry to leave Susanna and come back to her, as some people have claimed, wasn’t their “reunion” in Rockstown the perfect opportunity for Candy and Terry? 😉 Remember, Candy was free now, for her patient was gone, so she didn’t have to stay in Chicago. Terry himself was undoubtedly unhappy with his current situation. Thus, Candy and Terry could have left Rockstown and returned to New York together, breaking the news to Susanna that they could no longer live against their hearts’ desires, right? 😉 Susanna wasn’t a witch, and she had no magical power over a couple who were strong enough to fight for their love, don’t you agree? 😆

In addition, I guess even if Candy hadn’t promised Susanna, Candy wouldn’t have seen Terry. Back in Rockstown, Candy could have asked around about Terry the next morning without seeing him, right? For example, she could have observed him from afar or in the backstage, like she had done during the Chicago charity performance. You know what I mean?  😉

No wonder Candy referred Terry as a person she had loved before (see Second farewell for details).

What’s more, in Candy and Prince on the Hill (Part 5), I mentioned that Candy kept Albert’s portrait in her damascene jewelry box, the one she used to look for him. Honestly, if Terry was Anohito, would Terry really let his wife keep that portrait? 🙄

Come to think of it, Terry might have admired Albert (who had rescued him from some gangsters in London) and didn’t mind Candy living together with Albert to take care of him while he was amnesiac, this portrait had significant meanings to Candy nevertheless. After all, she had seemingly abandoned Terry in Rockstown without checking on him ever again but looked for Albert all over the town using this particular portrait. Don’t you think the story behind this portrait was enough to make any husband in Terry’s shoes extremely jealous? 😉

You might argue that Terry’s letters and clippings were in damascene jewelry box as well. That’s true. I just mentioned it in my post, Old Candy Candy Novel. 🙂 However, Albert completely understood how much Candy used to love Terry, and those letters and old clippings were her precious memories. That being said, Albert had probably seen those while living together with Candy in the apartment.

Note that Albert evidently loved Candy not as a sister or his family, but he was willing to sacrifice his own happiness by sending her to Rockstown. In his brief note shown above, he wrote that he was thinking about her wherever he was. It’s almost like he had “tricked” her to go there so that she could find her happiness with Terry, or so Albert thought.

In other words, Albert’s love for Candy was deep and self-denying. Below are the highlights of Reeka’s inspiring comment:

To Fall in Love with Someone vs To (truly) Love Someone.

1. To fall in love with someone makes you want to own that person. To make him/her belong to you. While to love someone truly means you are content just to be able to love him/her and see that person happy.
2. To fall in love makes you like to ask/demand things … And to truly love someone mostly makes us like to give anything to that person.
3. Emotion. Fall in love tends to make people more emotional … Like more possesive, jealous. While truly loving usually brings people calm and stable emotion.
4. To love someone couldn’t be pretended or exaggerated. You would out of the blue think about him/her.
5. To love someone truly makes you accept and love yourself for who you really are.

I think you’re able to see the differences between Terry and Albert, aren’t you? 🙂

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