«

»

Mar 29 2015

Her happiness

When Terry decided to leave England, he left a note for Candy as shown in the manga here. He addressed her as someone considerate or thoughtful (心ある), telling her he quit school and headed to America for his dream. Before he ended, he wished her happiness.

Literally, he said, “Wherever I am, I pray for your happiness.”

These words kept ringing in her ears. Apparently, he was in pursuit of his dream, so this was essentially a ‘farewell’ note. Needless to say, his action broke her heart.

キャンディキャンディ04_253

You see, Terry was fully aware of Candy’s feelings for him, and of all the fellow students in St. Paul’s Academy, Candy was the only one who had ever received special attention from him. He had stolen a kiss from her, hadn’t he? After what they had gone through all this time, in particular the happy moments in Scotland, was this simple note the only thing she got from him?

If I were her, I would have cried my eyes out. 🙁

Candy was at a loss. Terry left in such a rush as though he couldn’t wait any longer. Didn’t he care about her feelings? Why didn’t he bid her a proper goodbye or think twice before leaving England? Not to mention there was no promise whatsoever that he would come back to her. She didn’t know where exactly he was heading. Would they ever meet again?

The only certainty is that he would wish her happiness wherever he went.

Yes, he wished her happiness, but he had no intention to make her happy himself, or he didn’t think he was the one who could make her happy? 🙄 Nevertheless, at this point in his life, Terry didn’t plan to involve Candy in whatever he wanted to do, at least not yet.

But poor Candy had fallen in love with Terry, and she chased after him all the way to the harbor. Regrettably, she was too late, and yet she wouldn’t give him up just like that. She decided to return to America, and she wrote her innermost feelings down in her diary before leaving it to the care of her adoptive father. For your interest, please read Love Triangle (Part 2) about the content of this diary.

When Terry became a successful actor nearly two years later, he was ready to receive Candy in New York, but unfortunately it turned out to be their real farewell. Candy went all the way to reunite with Terry only to give him up to Susanna, a beautiful actress who needed Terry more. Candy even promised Susanna not to see Terry again, as explained in her letter to Miss Baker, Terry’s mother.

Many Candy Candy fans hate Susanna, but come to think of it, Terry himself let Candy go. He had obviously pondered over this since the accident, and when Candy decided to leave, he didn’t even try to convince her otherwise. In fact, his last words to Candy were once again about her happiness (from Candy Candy Final Story, CCFS):

幸せにならないと承知しないからな……。

This sounded like a command from him. Literally, it means “if (you) must not be happy, (I) won’t forgive you…”

So he urged her to be happy even without him. As I have explained before, the word for happiness is about a person’s well-being. Often times, a woman’s happiness is associated with her satisfaction in life, especially her marriage. I believe, at that very moment, that was what Terry alluded.

But Terry was not the only male character who cared about Candy’s happiness. The night Albert regained his past memory, he went home with a heavy heart but found Candy devastated and asleep. As shown in the following manga scene (more details in the old post Favorite Scenes in Candy Candy manga (1)), he said in his mind that he wanted to make her happy.

Vol 08 p147 b

 

Many, many months later, inside a hotel room somewhere in São Paulo, when Albert finally had time to himself in the early hours of a morning (around 2:00 am), rather than going to bed, he began writing a long, heartfelt letter to Candy. Near the end of this letter, his tone turned emotional when he expressed why he was grateful to Candy (see spoilers below)


Candy,
at that time, I was nothing more than a suspicious man without memory, with no identification.
But you didn’t leave me. You didn’t leave me even when you were fired from the hospital.
Your memories will surely come back, you kept my spirit up.
Just one time I have saved you, but you —.
I can never thank you enough.
I’m going to find out where your happiness lies.
I’ll certainly take a holiday and come to meet you when I’m back.
Bert

From the CCFS excerpt above, you can tell Albert had been immensely touched by Candy’s unflagging support and encouragement while he had been at his rock bottom. She had stayed by his side even after being fired by the hospital because of him. I said he sounded emotional in his writing because he described himself as nothing but a suspicious man, and he used the word misuteru (見捨てる), which means to abandon, give up, forsake, etc. This reminds me of the manga scene shown in A nice bride. Back then, being amnesiac, he had undoubtedly developed some feelings for Candy due to her sweetness to him, a man without memory and identity.

Now that Albert had fully recovered and returned to his normal life as the powerful family patriarch of the Ardlay clan, he still hadn’t forgotten Candy’s kindness to him. He wrote that he couldn’t thank her enough.

どんなに感謝しても、し尽くせない。

This is a common phrase, meaning no matter how much I thank you, it isn’t enough”, which is used when people express their deep gratitude. I figure this explains why Albert purchased the land from Mr. Cartwright and paid for the reconstruction of Pony’s Home (see A generous present for your interest). As a matter of fact, prior to writing this letter, Albert had already done several things that had delighted Candy. For example, he had given her very special birthday presents. 😀 Yet, I think he honestly meant it when he said whatever he had done still weren’t enough. Then he wrote the following next:

僕はこれからも、きみの幸せがどこにあるのか見極めたいと思っている。

Literally, it means “I’m thinking, from now on, I want to investigate where your happiness is.”

Albert used the word mikiwameru (見極める), which means to get to the bottom of, get a clear picture of, see through, make sure, etc. In other words, he would strive to find out what really made Candy happy, whether it was the fulfillment of a wish or her dream coming true, and it seems that he wouldn’t give up until he knew the truth. Similar to the manga scene displayed above, Albert was serious about making Candy happy, but this time in CCFS, he explicitly told her in writing. What’s more, he said これからも (“from now on”), which implies that he would continue doing that indefinitely. This is consistent with the famous sandwich sharing scene in the manga, in which he had used the same phrase “from now on” as well.

What a contrast between Terry and Albert!! One wished her happiness and the other was committed to making her happy. Sigh…

If you were Candy, how would you feel reading such a letter from Prince on the Hill? No wonder she missed him so much and wanted to see him in person (see I wish you were here… for details).

Note that Albert didn’t necessarily mean he was the answer to her happiness. As mentioned in Endearing nickname, after his business trip to São Paulo, one day he appeared at Pony’s Home out of the blue and drove Candy to Lakewood. Later that day, he returned her diary back to her in the room where she had discovered his true identity. I will talk about the significance of this scene in a new post. For now, I will just say that Albert was happy if Candy was happy, even if it meant bringing her back to Terry somehow. Albert had done that once in the past when he had led her to Rockstown.

At any rate, Albert’s action reminds me of a quote I’ve read somewhere but forgot the exact wordings. It’s something like “I’m in love with you, and I give you my heart, but you don’t have to love me back.”

18 comments

7 pings

Skip to comment form

  1. Reeka

    I don’t know where to start … this post of yours was making my heart immensely warm. I want to hug you. 🙂

    Those who are familiar with manga/anime must remember every scene where Terry wished Candy a happiness. Somehow, the above scene where Albert was looking at sleeping Candy and inwardly determined to make her happy was overshadowed by Terry’s wish of her happiness. Probably because at that point in manga, we had not known who the real Albert was. Only after reading his heartfelt letter on CCFS, we could see the volume of it. Did Mizuki write it to make it up for Albert’s favour? Let’s believe it that way 🙂

    You, my friend, you managed to connect all the dots and summarise them in this blogpost. It’s obviously contrast when you put them side by side. And it’s like answering our questions on why Terry never tried enough to show his love for Candy. All he could do was wishing her happiness. Like he never thought that Candy’s happiness once involved him. Like he never saw that he was a part of her happiness. What made him different than Stear then, if we see it from this point of view? Stear also openly wished Candy a happiness by making her the music box. Archie? At the beginning, he had accepted Annie because Candy asked him to take care of Annie. He did it to make Candy happy.

    Meanwhile Albert, he did make effort to be a part of happiness. Well, when someone said I’ll make you happy, they must be taking part in that happiness, no?

    And Candy’s happiness was never something material, so when Albert asked where her happiness was at that moment, and she answered “lies in here, at now”, we truly do not need anything else to know the ending of CC story. Furthermore, just below her last letter to Albert, she said to Anthony that she was happy now. 🙂

    Sigh.

    1. Ms Puddle

      Thank you for revisiting this post, dear Reeka! I’m so glad you like it this much, and it’s my honor. 🙂

      Mizuki put Albert’s heartfelt letter near the end of CCFS epilogue to explain why he later decided to return the diary to Candy. This is a courageous act and once again proved that Albert showed his unconditional love through his action, not just words. I’ll discuss this scene in detail one day… I’ll be getting there… slowly. Please bear with me.

      For Terry, yes, he had been wishing Candy happiness but never got involved himself. The first time he wished her happiness actually broke her heart, and even more so when it was his second time. In short, he broke her heart twice, leaving similar words to her. Poor Candy hadn’t yet realized someone out there wanted to make her happy himself, even if that means sacrificing his own happiness.

      I like what you said about Stear and Archie, but in Archie’s case, I think he was touched by Annie’s love and devotion too, so he accepted Annie not just for Candy’s sake.

      The more I read the epilogue the clearer it gets that Albert was meant to be the one for Candy, and he not only wished her happiness but he would do anything to make her happy. Sigh. No wonder Candy wanted to write to Anthony, telling him she finally found true love?? (I’m speculating…)

  2. Evelyn

    Thank you so much for contrasting both male characters in Candy’s life! What a big difference between Terry and Albert! I never understood why he would just leave her a simple note before he left St Paul’s Academy. I mean, it was so short and impersonal lacking emotion and special feeling that Candy thought they both had. No wonder she was devastated and took her a long time to get over him while she still held on to that hope. Terry liked her but did not love her unconditionally, in fact all along his character comes across as selfish and detached.

    Quick note about when Terry and Susanna are practicing their lines on stage, to me Terry comes across as being attracted to Susanna or liking her when she is reciting her lines. I feel that Terry was already physically attracted to her even before her accident. The accident was just the final straw that sealed the deal for Terry. He had already made up his mind to choose Susanna. Terry wished Candy happiness for sure as she held a special place in his heart, but he knew that he was not going to be the one to make her happy.

    On the other hand, Albert is completely committed to Candy’s happiness. He himself wants to make her happy! Very different than Terry just wishing her well in life! This scene when Albert is looking at her in a loving way after laying her in bed always touched my heart 😉 I love what you said, Ms Puddle, when Albert says “from now on” he will investigate where her happiness is! Priceless!! It breaks my heart to think that Albert is so in love with Candy but is willing to give her up to someone else if that’s what it takes to make her happy. 🙁 Between the scene of him staring at her in bed at the Magnolia apartment and when he tells her by letter that he wants to know where her happiness is, several years went by, right? By then, Albert had to have known that Candy’s heart belonged to him!! 🙂

    PS. I’d like to know one day what is your view on the reason behind Albert giving Candy back her diary when they went to Lakewood.

    1. Ms Puddle

      You’re welcome, Evelyn dear! As I said in one of the comments, I didn’t plan to write this but the idea struck me one day, and once I’ve gathered the evidence, it was overwhelming! The simple note Terry left for Candy was, like you said, very impersonal and detached… like she was never as important to him as she thought. Sigh. Poor Candy… her reaction was very impulsive, but her love made her blind. She didn’t realize Terry liked her but not enough to make him change anything for her, and like Luna said, he made no contact with her at all. It had been a farewell note indeed.

      I do believe Terry was somewhat attracted to Susanna too, but he was in denial. Susanna hadn’t known anything about Candy until after the performance in Chicago. If Candy had been this important to Terry, he should have told Susanna right off the bat. However, he led Susanna on, giving her false hope all along. Once again, people should see that Terry’s behavior was inconsistent with what he claimed. He didn’t really love Candy this much after all.

      On the other hand, Albert was completely different; ever since the adoption, he had put Candy’s happiness and welfare as his priority, first as her guardian but later as a man in love with a woman. Like you, this manga scene when Albert came home with his past memory always touched my heart too. He was in love with Candy already, no doubt, but his conscience wouldn’t let him disclose his feelings.

      Yes, as much as I’m familiar with the spoilers, I’ve never realized that in the Japanese text Albert actually mentioned “from now on”. I was immensely moved by his unconditional love for Candy, even if that means giving her to another man. He wouldn’t stop loving her, in a sense. Sigh. I’ll talk more about the return of her diary in a new post… Right now, I have several topics in my head, and I’m not sure which one to write first. 😛 😉

  3. Luna

    Hello Ms Puddle,

    Thank you very much for this nice post. With your permission, I would like to share my feelings…

    Well, When I was younger , I was definitely thinking that Terry was the best choice for Candy. But I grew up, I changed and I see easily now that Albert is the best for Candy. Terry is not selfish or egoist but in my opinion when he left Candy in London, he made a real, definite farewell. No contact for two years, no try to reach or find her…And I’don t remember if he directly said ‘ I love you’ to her…

    Furthermore, from Manga we saw that he was very close to Susanna. They were always together, talking and even she was visiting him in his flat . And remember, when she said what she did to Candy , he said ‘I don t hate you’. What does it really mean?After what she did, his reaction should have been different . I understood his feelings for Candy stopped him that day to accept Susanna’s love. But in my opinion his feelings were not strong as that. Otherwise, how could Susanna find that courage? That day was my second disappointment about him. (First one was when he treated Elisa very kindly after rescuing her from the pit. So for me, Terry is not suitable ).

    For Albert, I would like to see his direct feelings in words …and I wonder, and maybe you can tell me, why he did not reveal his secret till the event of engagement? Is there any glue about this point in the final story?

    Cheers.
    Luna

    1. Ms Puddle

      Bonjour Luna! You can share anytime you like, no need to get permission from me, my friend. 🙂

      When I was a child watching the anime, I really liked Terry too and was extremely frustrated why they kept missing each other. I didn’t understand the relationship between Candy and Albert, not until I read the manga for the first time as an adult. Only then I realized that Albert was in love but suppressed his feelings, first because she had Terry and later because he recovered his memory. Yet, it didn’t stop Albert from loving Candy in silence. The sandwich sharing scene is a strong proof that he would want to support her for the rest of his life.

      About Terry leaving London, to me it is loud and clear that Candy wasn’t very important to him. He might have some feelings for her, but not enough to change him in any way. His dream or his ambition was much stronger. As you said, he had made no contact with anybody back at St Paul’s, not even Candy, not until he saw them again in Chicago.

      No, he never directly said “I love you” to anyone, but he did mention to Susanna that he had strong feelings for Candy ever since their first encounter on an ocean liner.

      I totally agree with you that Terry didn’t stop giving false hope to Susanna. Yes, she appeared in his apartment one day, but he wasn’t particularly keen to see her. Nonetheless, he didn’t mind to appear with Susanna like a couple in front of all the fans. He didn’t clarify himself concerning the rumors about him and Susanna either. In CCFS, Susanna was described as a beautiful lady, and she must have some charms after all. 😉 Honestly, I wonder if he would eventually fall for Susanna if he hadn’t run into Candy again in Chicago…

      After the accident, Terry was very tender to Susanna too, either out of guilt or responsibility or whatever. I’ve never seen this side of him to any other woman, not even Candy.

      Now, about Albert, I’ve written a lot about him and his struggles. In short, I think he wanted to revert his feelings for Candy, to treat her as his protégée again, before he would come out to see her and present himself as her guardian. Little did he know that Candy’s feelings for him were no longer fraternal… Does it make sense to you?

      1. Luna

        Thank you very much dear Ms Puddle. Your answer really makes sense and maybe one day we could see the final story as a cartoon movie. Still I have hopes about this…

        1. Ms Puddle

          You’re welcome, Luna! I hope so too, and in fact, the entire epilogue is beautiful enough to be a romance movie… Sigh!

  4. SweetCandyAndley

    Dear Ms Puddle!!

    Just as every single post you write and share with all of us, it is so deep and touching. But most of all, it contains all the evidence to prove your words.

    If I could choose between those two kind of men, I would definitely fall for the one who loves me without expecting me to love him back! Furthermore, instead of one who wishes me happiness, I’d choose the one who takes action into his hands and makes the effort to provide whatever that happiness means!

    It wouldn’t take long to change one’s heart under those circumstances. (I have to say that I cried while I read the post!) It simply overwhelmed me!

    Congrats! my friend. Keep it up!

    1. Ms Puddle

      Thank you so much SweetCandyAndley!! I didn’t plan to write this, but the idea struck me one day, and i just needed to gather the evidence, so to speak. 😉 The contrast between the two male characters was very obvious, right?

      I can’t agree with you more about whom to choose. No brainer! 🙂 If I were Candy, I’d definitely choose the one who cared about me enough to make my happiness his priority. 🙂

      I think Candy was significantly touched by Albert’s letter, and she probably cried like you too, my friend (by the way, thank you, dear, didn’t mean to make you shed tears)… No wonder her reply to him was filled with yearning! Sigh…

  5. Agnès

    Dear Ms Puddle! What a great post! I love it !!!

    Vous avez exprimé exactement tous mes sentiments au sujet du départ de Terry de Londres! Moi non plus je n’ai pas compris et j’étais en colère contre lui d’avoir abandonné Candy. La laissant ainsi à son triste sort, entre les griffes de la mère supérieure. En sachant que de toute façon, même si elle pouvait finalement rester à l’académie de St Paul, les rumeurs iraient bon train. Elle était en quelque sorte compromise ! Il n’a même pas discuté avec elle de son départ. Je suis d’accord avec Antlay, c’est comme s’il avait égoïstement poursuivi son rêve de devenir acteur laissant Candy derrière lui, sans même se soucier de ce qu’elle était devenue. En effet, pas de lettre pour lui dire seulement où il se trouvait ! C’est comme s’il avait renoncé à son amour. Comme s’il lui avait dit adieu, pour moi c’était comme une première rupture en quelque sorte ! Il est parti mais Candy l’a suivi se mettant même en danger, en voyageant comme clandestin à bord d’un bateau !
    Terry prie pour son bonheur, oui mais pour qu’elle le trouve par elle-même, sans son aide !!! 🙁

    Dans le même genre de situation, quand Albert est parti pour stopper les commérages des voisins et lui éviter d’être mise à la rue, il a toujours veillé de loin sur elle ; cherchant à la conduire vers ce qu’il pensait être le bonheur pour elle, quitte à renoncer à ses propres espoirs d’amour avec elle, en l’attirant à Rockstown pour la réunir avec Terry par exemple ! Alors même si Candy n’avait pas directement de nouvelles de lui, je suis sûre qu’il a toujours gardé un œil sur elle. Albert a toujours agi pour le bien de Candy sans aucune pensée égoïste mais avec altruisme!

    Et lorsqu’Albert était amnésique, vivre avec Candy était comme une renaissance pour lui. Malgré sa perte d’identité, il pouvait imaginer, à nouveau, un avenir avec et grâce à elle. Alors qu’il était au désespoir dans cette chambre « 0 » à l’hôpital, méprisé et abandonné par tous, sans passé, sans avenir. Candy a été son ange-gardien ! C’était la première fois que les rôles étaient inversés. Pas étonnant qu’il lui soit si reconnaissant !

    A propos de la dernière phrase, juste après qu’il se demande où se situe le bonheur de Candy, il parle de prendre des vacances pour venir la voir ! … 😉

    1. Ms Puddle

      Bonjour Agnès,

      Yup, Terry’s rushed departure baffled me… either he didn’t care much about Candy or his dream was more important to him. I honestly don’t understand why Terry fans didn’t see that their favorite hero actually didn’t love Candy as much as they thought… he abandoned her first… If he had stayed, the story could have been rewritten, don’t you think? In fact, this is a good example of the girl loving the boy more… she risked her life and safety being a stowaway just because she wanted to find him again. 🙁 The fact that Terry didn’t even write a single letter to Candy was inexcusable. He could have written to Ardlay’s residence if he wanted to avoid writing to St Paul’s academy. Even his brief visit to Pony’s Home couldn’t compensate his big mistake.

      As I said in the post, he prayed for her happiness but had no intention of making her happy, and his very own action broke her heart. 🙁

      Like you, I believe Albert somehow continued keeping a watch over Candy in secret, and his selfless act of leading her to Rockstown proved his unconditional love for her. Yes, you’re absolutely right that the roles had been reversed for the first time when Albert had been despised by everyone else in Room 0, and Candy had been his guardian angel. She deeply cared about him as a person and kept his spirit up no matter what happened. It was just natural for him to develop feelings for her. Sigh.

      About the last sentence in his letter that he would take a holiday to see her, I think he decided to give her the birthday present as per her request in her letter before her big day. She had demanded his company so that they could have lots of time to talk, remember? Back then he couldn’t afford the time, and even though she had come all the way to Chicago, he couldn’t spend time with her. In her subsequent letter, although she sounded very happy about the special birthday presents she had received from him, she wrote that he had been too busy. You can tell she really wanted his one-on-one attention. 🙂

  6. Antlay

    Bonjour Ms Puddle

    Encore un post très éloquent Ms Puddle et je suis entièrement de votre avis !

    Pour moi Terry est une personne égoïste, il a choisi sa carrière avant tout. Moi aussi je n’ai pas compris pourquoi il avait quitté Londres si précipitamment, sans en informer Candy. Il semble qu’une fois arrivé à New-York, il n’a pas écrit également à Candy, il aurait pu lui écrire au Collège Royal de Saint Paul, après tout il ignorait qu’elle était partie à sa recherche. Il pensait toujours pourtant qu’elle était à Londres, puisqu’il est surpris lorsqu’il rencontre Archibal et Alistair après sa représentation à Chicago que Candy y soit également.
    Et oui vous avez raison Ms Puddle, Albert lui se soucie de son bonheur comme toujours quitte à laisser partir Candy avec un autre du moment qu’elle est heureuse. “Parfois c’est aussi ça l’amour : laisser partir ceux qu’on aime.” Joseph O’Connor.
    Merci Ms Puddle de nous faire partager CCFS, un vrai bonheur ! 🙂

    1. Ms Puddle

      Yes indeed, dear Antlay, that Terry acted selfishly to leave London in such a rush. He didn’t seem to care much about Candy’s feelings, and the fact that he addressed her as someone considerate proved that he expected her to understand his action. 🙁 Like you, I don’t understand why he didn’t even write to her even after he began working in Stratford Theatre. It was like she was not as important to him as his career… oh well…

      Haven’t heard of this quote by Joseph O’Connor, but it perfectly fits Albert’s character, that it was love that he let go of someone he loved… sigh!

      Glad you like the excerpts from CCFS. Have a wonderful day, my friend! 😀

  7. Olenka Vértiz

    Oh, wao!! ms. Puddle you let me just without breath.
    I love the way you connect all the history and how Albert is totally different to the other guy( my private joke is that Terry= Voldemort from Harry Potter lol because ” who must not be named”)

    My heart was touched when no matter what, for Albert the priority for him was Candy’s happiness, included that he had to leave her alone in magnolia´s apartment. 🙁
    I love the character of this man.. He is a dream come true..(well in my mind) but He enclose everything that I love in a person.
    Have a great day Ms. Puddle.

    1. Ms Puddle

      Dear Olenka! You’re so right that Albert’s priority was always Candy’s happiness, including his act of leaving her alone in the apartment. That’s so true indeed, brilliant! 😀 About the other male character, the one who must not be named LOL… he just couldn’t measure up to Albert. Sigh… Well, Albert was not perfect, but he was almost perfect … 😉
      You have a great day too, my friend! 🙂

  8. Reeka

    My dear friend, you’ve written quite a lot great posts, but I don’t know, this post boosts a happiness in me ( especially after a week of gloominess here in SG). You really connected all the dots in manga and CCFS perfectly in this post.

    I’ll talk to you a little later. I’m in the middle of running errands now.

    I love you for this post!

    1. Ms Puddle

      You’re very welcome, dear Reeka! I’m so glad to hear that, and take your time to write to me. Looking forward to reading your comment 🙂

  1. Did Candy find her happiness? (Part 2) » Ms Puddle's Haven

    […] In addition, like the postcard in the old novel, at the end of this lengthy letter he promised to visit Candy when he returned. On top of all that, he wrote he would definitely investigate what really made Candy happy. […]

  2. A Man in Love – Chapter 20 » Ms Puddle's Haven

    […] Her happiness […]

  3. More than words (Part 2) » Ms Puddle's Haven

    […] Her happiness […]

  4. More than words (Part 1) » Ms Puddle's Haven

    […] Her happiness […]

  5. The person I love… » Ms Puddle's Haven

    […] Her happiness […]

  6. Expressions of love » Ms Puddle's Haven

    […] Her happiness […]

  7. Susanna and Candy » Ms Puddle's Haven

    […] Her happiness […]

I would like to hear from you!

Translate »
%d bloggers like this: