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Apr 08 2016

Terry’s brief letter to Candy (Part 1)

I suppose many of you have heard of the song “Hello” by Adele. ❤ It describes someone trying to call her ex whose heart she had broken years ago. She wanted to apologize for breaking his heart and for everything she had done. Yet, she couldn’t find this person even after many attempts.

Guess what? This song reminds me of Terry’s ambiguous letter to Candy in Candy Candy Final Story (CCFS) 😉, but Terry didn’t apologize for breaking Candy’s heart. 😌 He just claimed that he hadn’t changed at all, one year and a half since an unnamed incident. Besides, for some reason, Terry had doubts his letter would reach Candy. Maybe he knew her living arrangement with Albert would cease upon Albert’s recovery, so by the time Terry wrote this letter, he figured Candy might have stopped renting the apartment.

Many fans assume Terry had remained unchanged roughly 18 months after Susanna’s death mainly because this letter was shown right after her obituary in CCFS. Needless to say, many are inclined to believe that Terry meant to inform Candy that he still loved her. What else did he mean?

Have you ever wondered though, if this is the case, what exactly did Terry want by sending such a brief letter to Candy? 😌😅 Did he expect her to have remained the same too? Or did he want her to come back to him? Did he hope that their love could be rekindled?

Anyway, how would you react if you were Candy? 😮

Regrettably, as I have said more than once, this popular belief actually sheds a negative light on Terry’s character. On one hand, you may think he’d been faithful to Candy, but on the other hand, this makes him appear cold-blooded.

Why? Imagine yourself living with someone who’s very ill. You may not be in love with this patient, but you couldn’t be completely unaffected by his/her dire conditions, right? Not to mention that you’re taking care of this patient, continuously supporting him or her for months.

In CCFS, it’s written that Terry was the one who stayed by Susanna’s side, taking care of her during her constant struggles with her illness. It’s unclear if he was the only one helping her cope with her sickness, but for sure he had been living with her as her fiancé till she passed away.

In other words, Terry couldn’t possibly act like a spectator, so how could he feel nothing at all when Susanna had been suffering? It sounds cruel if he claimed he had remained the same man after going through all these with her. Don’t you agree? 😐 Not to mention he should have been giving her mental support for some period of time. Please don’t tell me that he had merely pretended to be kind to her. 🙁 For details, please read Susanna and Candy (Part 2).

キャンディキャンディ第07巻169As a matter of fact, contrary to what most people think, Terry didn’t really hate Susanna, not in the manga nor in CCFS. After the accident during the rehearsal, he visited her of his own accord and bought her many flower bouquets despite being rejected by Susanna’s mother day after day. Come to think of it, without her heroic act, he could have lost his life or lost a limb like her. Thus, other than feeling sorry or somewhat guilty, I figure Terry must have been considerably touched by Susanna’s love and sacrifice for him.

See? That accident on the stage alone had significantly changed his attitude towards her.

In addition, although Terry didn’t see Susanna as a love interest, he wasn’t a fool whom anyone could easily manipulate. Don’t underestimate him, especially he was known to be a strong-willed, if not rebellious, man. When he was willing to fight for something, he would not shy from it, like the way he had dealt with his father and the way he had challenged the authorities at St. Paul’s Academy.

Unfortunately, Terry didn’t even fight for Candy. I suppose he chose Susanna over Candy after weighing his options, knowing that the glamorous actress needed him more than anyone. He had some struggles, yes, but it was his own decision in the end.

What’s more, Terry promised Susanna that he would stay by her side forever. Tremendously moved by his sacrifice, Susanna sent a letter of gratitude to Candy to thank her. In CCFS, Candy said this was the only letter she had got from Susanna. You think Terry didn’t know about this letter? Ok, perhaps he didn’t, but he should strive to keep his promise to the actress nonetheless.

Lately, when my friend and I discussed this famous letter, she raised some good points. According to some people, Candy had been patiently waiting for Susanna to leave Terry one day. If so, Candy must have remained single all this time. We all know how much Albert cared about Candy, and years ago he had strategically arranged Candy to “run into” Terry in Rockstown (for your interest, please read my fanfic, Reunion 😃). What makes you think Albert wouldn’t perform a similar trick this time? Somehow Albert must be able to lead Candy back to Terry after Susanna’s death if Albert knew her heart yearned to reunite with the Broadway actor.

How about Miss Eleanor Baker? If she was aware that her son hadn’t forgotten Candy at all despite living with Susanna for years, then what makes you think Miss Baker wouldn’t contact Candy on behalf of Terry? It’s not like Miss Baker hadn’t taken the initiative to talk to Candy for her son before. 😉

So either Albert or Miss Baker would do something behind the scenes to bring the lovebirds back together. Please don’t tell me that both Albert and Miss Baker had also wavered like Terry did. 😅

What about Candy herself? If she had been hoping Terry would become available to her again, wouldn’t she take some action herself after reading the obituary? I don’t suppose she’d wait for Terry to make the first move if she still loved him from the bottom of her heart. It’s a known fact that Candy was willing to do anything to chase after Terry, right? 😁

Therefore, the more my friend and I discussed this letter, the more convinced we are that the unnamed incident Terry implied in his brief letter to Candy was highly likely their breakup, not Susanna’s death. I have also expressed similar thoughts at the end of Chapter 7 of Peculiar Relationship, as shown below:

==

In Candy Candy Final Story, Terry sent a brief letter to Candy without a date, but he wrote (CCFS Vol 2, P. 283):

…あれから一年たった。(…It has been a year since that.)

The mere fact that Terry used あれ (which means ‘that’) indicates that he referred to an incident that was familiar to both himself and Candy. People don’t always use あれ this way, but sometimes あれ can be used to hint at a rather sensitive or uncomfortable topic that one would prefer not to say it explicitly but both the speaker and the listener understand what it alludes to.

Therefore, I’m inclined to believe Terry meant their painful breakup at New York because he shouldn’t expect Candy to know the date of Susanna’s death by heart (as many have assumed). Like some of you have pointed out, about one year and a half since their breakup, it was possibly around Candy’s birthday, which might have triggered Terry to contact her.

==

I’ll continue in Part 2. Please stay tuned. 😘

45 comments

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  1. Anonymous

    Hello Ms puddle!

    Could you please tell me, where you got that picture of Candy Candy manga version in Japanese?

    I’m currently working on a paper about translation quoting Candy Candy, my favorite Japanese manga, so I really do need Japanese version to compare it to my own language’s version.

    As far as I know, you are the best expert of Candy Candy. 🙂

    1. Ms Puddle

      Thanks for your compliments and encouraging words! 😘 No, I’m not an expert, but if I do have that picture, I can find it for you. Sorry it’s been a while ago since I posted this, so please enlighten me which picture exactly you had in mind? Like which volume and page?
      Thanks! 😊

  2. Quevivacandy

    Hello there!!!

    Hope you are doing just fine! I while ago a mutual friend said something about you have posted a new post regarding Terry’s letter, but something she said, called my attention. She said that you said, hehe, the unnamed incident was when Terry left the Saint’s Paul. I was like… what? So for a while, I have had this on my mind, waiting for a little bit time to finally read your post, so here I go, hehehe…

    Well, at least in this first part, you and your friend think the unnamed incident is their breakup. Let’s see what I found in second part. 🙂

    Ps. Definitely it wasn’t Susanna’s death and of course, if so, Albert, Eleanor Baker and Candy herself, would do something to finally be with Terry.

    1. Ms Puddle

      Hola mi querida amiga!! Nice to hear from you again, QuevivaCandy😍

      I’m flattered that your friend mentioned my earlier post, but I wrote three parts to explain why the popular theory out there is incorrect. Then part 2 is where the other possibility is. I’ll talk more in my reply to your comment. 😆😄

  3. reeka

    Hello Ladies, …

    I’ve just checked whether Ms Puddle has already updated her blog and I just missed it … hahahaha sounds like I am at one of those moments when I really need to get my Candy-Albert fix.

    I’ve read some of you mentioned my name, and I’m not sure in which I should reply, so I post a new comment instead.

    To Evelyn, Antlay, & Candy Bert,

    Evelyn : I am glad to find I’m not the only one to have this rather crazy idea. Hahaha. When this first stroke my mind, I truly felt confused myself. I tried to analyse whatever it was I could remember about Rockstown in manga and CCFS, the timeline ( in my calculation, they matched.), and the possibilities. Why people could be so sure that this letter was Terry saying his love to Candy never changed. Where the word love? where the sign of him saying it was his feeling to her he was talking about? He just said ” I have never changed at all”.

    Antlay & Candy Bert : I am too very relieved that you guys could see what I see about this letter. Somehow I was afraid I saw things people did not see. LOL.

    I know it’s a speculation, or if I may say, it’s my two cents based on logical approach, not a sentimental or romantic one. Sometimes, being sentimental makes us see things as the way our hearts want it to be. We all here agree that this letter was somewhat too brief and even sounded pretty unsure if he really wanted his words reach Candy or not. Maybe he wanted it to reach Candy, but reaching her or not did not make any difference to him. Otherwise, he could do more effort to make sure this letter reach Candy’s hand.

    If he’s talking about his feeling, like Antlay said, he could said “my feeling has not changed”. It was his last chance to get her, he had nothing to lose anymore, why did not he drop the bomb? My guess, at this point, Eleanor had not told Terry that Candy was indeed in Rockstown seeing him at that poor theatre. She might tell him in the future though. However, obviously he could feel Candy’s presence. Being sober and return to Stratford, he could think more clearly. He must have realised, Candy must be aware of ugly news about him, abandoning his career and irresponsibly leaving Susanna alone. It was not something he promised Candy. I am sure though, at this point, he was still in love with Candy. And making her even more sad and disappointed of him was the last thing he wanted to do. For both of them able to move on, he had to get back on his feet and make sure that Candy knew he was still the same Terry she knew and she once loved.

    Of course, whatever it was that not changed on Terry does not matter much to us as ones who believe Candy ended up with Albert :). And I may be not fully true when I said I try to see this brief letter logically. Because it seems unconsciously I want to have a better ending for Terry. I want him truly move on. Not so desperate to write an unsure letter to confess his love to the so called the love of his life.

    🙂

    1. reeka

      Sorry, forgot to add some lines. It was on my mind, but as usual, my brain and fingers did not work cooperatively. 🙂

      Addition to second last paragraph.
      – For both of them able to move on, he had to get back on his feet and make sure Candy knew he was still the same Terry she knew and once loved. But did not matter if the letter not reaching her because if he did his career well media would cover that and eventually she would know. Being an insecure young man he was sometimes, I think he doubted after a year or so Candy was still thinking about him. But he felt he had seen her in Rockstown. Yes he said he had wanted to write her a year after the unmentioned event, but he had been wavering for a half of a year later. It could be true that half a year ago he wanted to write her to … mmmm say hi or ask her condition? He himself half a year ago might be in desperate situation, intoxicated by alcohol and anger. So maybe he had wavered due to his condition and a lack of excuse to write her.

      1. Ms Puddle

        Dear Reeka, I think I might as well answer your comments in a new post. I hope I can update this weekend! Thanks for your support 😍

  4. brenda

    Ms.Puddle! Thanks for this great post. WOW! How comments about Terry and Candy. I totally agree with you. Maybe
    at first Candy fell for him and a year or so passed thinking about their short romance. Candy was really clear she wouldn’t want to see or talk to him again. As nice and handsome he was also pretty selfish so, I think he wanted to recover in a way Candy’s love, but I remember you ‘ve mentioned Mizuki’s put Terry as a secondary character to continue the successful novel, that a was a very important hint or main point ! Anyway, mi amiga he didn’t know
    Candy as well as he thought, she changed and grow up due to hard circumstances she faced in life since she was
    a little girl. Finally Mizuki after all that drama she granted her daughter a handsome perfect prince!
    Sorry, for the soap opera.(I think I’ll cry) Do you know the voice in the anime Ms. Cecilia Gisper said she was dissapointed about the ending, because everybody thought Candy and Terry would married, but
    the writers said Albert was more suitable character to Candy. I’ll try to get you the page soon.
    Bless you my friend.
    Brenda

    1. Ms Puddle

      Hola Brenda 😘 Yes, many comments indeed. You’re absolutely right, the so-called romance between Candy and Terry was very short, and we mainly see it from Candy’s side. To me, Terry really didn’t know her much, and his love for her wasn’t deep either.

      Yes Terry was meant to be just an episode in Candy’s life. Albert was her destined love. The author had this in mind all along.

      I like what you said, Brenda, that Mizuki granted her daughter a handsome and perfect prince! There’s no denying that he was always there for Candy. Terry could never measure up to Albert… Sigh…

      I’m sorry to say that no voice actor could alter the story. I was told even the voice actor for Terry was disappointed as well. Yet, only the author had the absolute right to write the story the way she wanted.

      Even in CCFS i have no doubt who Anohito really was. 😍😘

  5. Candy Bert

    Hello Ms Puddle!

    You know my opinion about it, Ms Puddle, for me this letter was written a year and a half after their breakup.
    I agree with your arguments Antlay! If the note was written after Suzanna’s death,Terry had to know Albert was WAA by the time. Albert would have done everything to make her happy by reuniting her with Terry if she was again in love with Terry, but he probably wouldn’t have waited for Suzanna’s death (since he could not have predicted it) to push Candy to move on, as he had done after Anthony’s death. I’m quite sure Albert wouldn’t have bear to see her mourning on a hopeless love for years! No way! BTW in her letters to Albert in the epilogue, she didn’t look like a girl in grief but quite the contrary! 😀

    About the meaning of Terry’s note, at the time I thought he was saying that it was his feelings had not changed. Candy’s birthday and the anniversary of the kiss he had stolen had made him nostalgic, that’s why he wrote this note may be in a hurry as a bottle thrown into the sea. Candy didn’t answer him and in despair he left New York and ended in Rockstown.
    Today I think something interesting by reading your thoughts about Rockstown, ladies, as some of you have said, Eleanor could have told Terry that she had met Candy then indeed, perhaps he wrote on his return to New York and in saying “I have not changed,” perhaps did he mean “I have not changed my mind so, I stay with Susanna and I pursue my dream of becoming a great actor”. Somehow he reassures her, like “you saw me drunk and in a seedy theater but do not worry, in fact I have not changed and now I eventually feel better.”

    One thing is sure he didn’t try hard since he even wasn’t sure of her adress!!! And he could have been more explicit! Albert in his short note sent from Rockstown had written “Candy, always thinking of you…” so much feelings in only five words! Sigh!…

    1. Candy Bert

      One more thing about the relationship Terry/Suzanna: She loved him enough to risk her life, she shared his passion for theater and she was very beautiful, then passing months and years close to her so, why could not he fall in love with her?
      There is even a sort of parallel with the relationship Albert/Candy: she was falling in love with Albert also injured while he was living close to her. Albert risked his life rescuing Candy from lion attack as Suzanna saved Terry from projecter!

      1. Evelyn

        Oh my goodness, Candy Bert!! I never saw this parallel between A&C and T&S!! Each couple had an injured counter significant other!! Both couples lived together not married and in a way risked their lives to save the other…thus they were indebted to the other and eventually developing feeling for each other!

        1. antlay31

          Waow, je rejoins Evelyn, brillante analyse Candy Bert ! 😀 Seul des êtres amoureux peuvent agir de la sorte au péril de leur vie. Même si Albert venait juste de retrouver la mémoire, il n’a pas hésité une seconde, c’était instinctif, il est clair qu’il avait développé des sentiments amoureux envers Candy.
          Quant à la courte lettre d’Albert, excellent point Candy Bert. Albert lui au moins se soucie de Candy en écrivant qu’il pense à elle alors que Terry se contente d’un comment vas-tu ! Cela en dit long effectivement.

      2. Ms Puddle

        Great minds think alike, Candy Bert!! When I was writing Love Never Fails, this comparison / parallel already appeared in my mind. I don’t remember if I have that written in the story though. 😆

        But many thanks again for bringing this up, and it only shows how much Albert loved Candy, just like Susanna loved Terry. 💗😘

        1. Candy Bert

          My pleasure Ladies!
          I don’t know if you wrote it in your great story, Ms Puddle since I read it awhile ago! If it were the case, it was probably you who would have printed a piece of my brain then! 😆

          1. Ms Puddle

            Bonjour Candy Bert, again, thanks for reading my story… I don’t even remember that myself… It’s been so long. LOL… 😂

    2. Ms Puddle

      Bonjour Candy Bert! Yes I know that you have always believed that the letter was written a year and a half after the breakup, just like I do. 😍

      I think we are all in agreement that Albert would have done everything he could to reunite Candy and Terry if Albert knew Candy had remained single, waiting for Terry to become available to her.

      My friend, I think you’re also right that Albert wouldn’t have let Candy live in misery, waiting indefinitely for a hopeless case… In the epilogue, Albert had obviously wanted to find out what really made Candy happy. If it was Terry, Albert might do something to help her move on… Nobody could have predicted Susanna’s death back then…

      Of course, just like you, I think Candy was apparently very happy with her prince, as shown in the epilogue. He truly cared about her and was very protective of her. Sigh…

      You spoke my mind, my dear friend, that Albert’s words in his short note carried way more feelings than this letter from Terry!!! Those who think Terry was the one for Candy can’t be more blind… 😫 Sigh… 😉

  6. Stormaw

    Hi
    I believe if you love someone you are not going to wait forever. If you love someone, you’re going to try to be next to the person. Being far away is the worst thing a person can do because a love is like a flower without water or sun it dies; therefore, without care and close contact, a love is destined to fail. To me Candy was just enchanted by a teenager fantasy in regards to Terry, but with Albert is different. They live together for months, in a way they were living like a couple. They learned how to live together, and Albert cared and protected Candy all the time, next to her. Take care

    1. Ms Puddle

      Hola Stormaw, like you, I also think if Candy was Terry’s everything, as his ardent fans have claimed, then it doesn’t make sense to me why he had waited for so long before writing to Candy. Not to mention he had wavered for half a year… What made him hesitate, really?

      Yes I agree with you completely, that love needs to be nurtured just like flowers. Compared to Candy’s affection for Albert, her so-called passion for Terry was short-lived and fragile. Unlike Albert, who had tried to make Candy happy, Terry had broken her heart twice. 😫😓

      1. Stormaw

        Hi
        Yes I totally agree with you. He doesn’t have any excuse for waiting. The only reason is that he never loved Candy the way Candy exoected. They both were just teenagers that lived far away from each other; therefore, it is impossible, in my opinion, to love someone without being next to the person. You need that in order to make your love stronger.
        Take care

  7. Anonymous

    I would like to ask about the infamous Terry’s letter.

    Let us make the assumption that Terryfans have right.

    So, during the moment that Terry is writting the letter
    a)Terry is desperate in love with Candy.
    b)Candy is desperately in love with Candy
    c)the only obstacle between them is Susanna and she has passed away.

    The simple question is
    Why Terry waited an entire year or more to write and sent this letter?
    It’s just a brief letter not a provocative action.

    In my opinion, he is first of all insesitive towards Candy.

    Additionally do you think it’s fair for you , according Terryfans, that Terry
    waits a year to express his feelings to Candy and Candy runs immediately
    after him?

    I would to hear your opinions about thiw issue.

    1. Ms Puddle

      Hello there, my sentiments exactly, that it’s totally unfair Candy was always being passive… When Terry needed her, she would run back to him. When he was busy pursuing his dream career or fulfilling his promise to a woman, Candy would have to hide in a shadow somewhere, waiting for him to become available again.

      Really, this is nonsense… Candy deserved a much better man. In my opinion. 😜😉

  8. antlay31

    Bonjour Ms Puddle

    La lettre de Terry est coute mais pourtant elle en dit long.

    Je pense que si la lettre avait été écrite un an et demi après le décès de Susanna, je pense que Terry devait savoir depuis longtemps que Candy était la fille adoptive de William Albert Ardlay. Quand Albert a fait son retour à la tête du clan Ardlay, les journaux l’ont évoqués, comme on peut le voir lors de l’inauguration de l’hotel des Leagans à Miami. Terry a donc eu connaissance à un moment donné qu’Albert était en réalité l’Oncle William, celui qui avait adopté Candy. Donc après autant d’années, même si il ne savait pas où vivait Candy, en l’envoyant à la résidence des Ardlay à Chicago, sa lettre serait obligatoirement parvenue à Candy. Mais il n’est pas sûr que la lettre lui parviendra, ce qui n’est pas logique. D’autre part comme vous l’avez souligné Ms Puddle, après la mort de Susanna, Albert aurait cherché à savoir si Candy était toujours amoureuse de Terry. Si tel avait été le cas, il aurait à coup sûr rencontré Terry à New-York ou ailleurs pour en faire de même. Et ensuite comme à son habitude il aurait fait en sorte de les réunir.

    Donc tout comme vous je reste persuader que cette lettre a été écrite avant le décès de Susanna. Peut-être effectivement juste après Rockstown comme le souligne Reeka. Dans ce cas, Terry devait penser que Candy ne vivait plus avec Albert, que la santé ce dernier s’était depuis longtemps améliorée même si peut-être il n’avait toujours pas retrouvé la mémoire. Or dans ce cas il n’y avait aucune raison pour que Candy et Albert continuent à vivre sous le même toit, donc Terry est incertain que sa lettre parvienne à Candy.
    Et ces mots “je n’ai pas changé du tout” peut-être une façon de lui dire, je vais mieux maintenant, mon objectif est resté le même, remonter sur scène, continuer à jouer. Sinon il aurait pu écrire, “mes sentiments n’ont pas changés” et sa lettre aurait été probablement plus longue.
    Merci pour partager ce post avec nous Ms Puddle.

    1. antlay31

      Je voulais dire la lettre de Terry est courte pourtant elle en dit long. 😯

    2. Ms Puddle

      Bonjour Antlay!! 😘 Good point about the timing of this letter, and that by the time Susanna had died it seems absurd that Terry was unsure where Candy lived. Though back in those days, there was no Google or internet, and knowing that Albert was WAA might not help Terry much. That said, Terry could have asked his mother, who had successfully reached Candy by mail.

      So I wonder if he knew Miss Baker had invited Candy to see Hamlet?

      Anyway, as I told Evelyn, I’m reluctant to believe the letter was sent after the Rockstown episode… If Terry had indeed seen Candy, albeit briefly, he would have written about it. Anyway, just my 2 cents. 😁

      Totally agree with you that Terry should have written “My feelings have not changed” instead! 😜 If he still loved Candy, why did he waver? Why didn’t he rush to Chicago as soon as his duty/obligations (Susanna) had gone? Sigh…

      You’re absolutely right, Antlay, that Terry’s letter should be much longer if it was meant to be a love letter… The complete lack of sentiments really makes me doubt his intentions.

      Perhaps, do you think he wrote this letter while traveling with the roadside theatre? From what I understand in the manga, he left New York and traveled with the crew. So this might be before Rockstown? When Terry forgot Candy’s address in Chicago and had no way to double check with anyone about Ardlay’s principal address? 🙄

      Have a wonderful day, my friend! 💗

      1. antlay31

        Hello Ms Puddle
        C’est amusant car j’ai relu la lettre de Melle Baker à Candy, hier. Je ne pense pas que Terry était au courant de l’invitation. Je pense que Melle Baker voulait que Candy se rende compte qu’il était à son apogée, le Terry qu’elle connaissait avant l’épisode Rockstown.
        J’ai aussi relu la réponse de Candy à Melle Baker. Candy lui dit qu’elle garde cette lettre d’invitation comme un trésor. Dans CCFS, la carte se trouve dans le coffret à bijoux.
        Le mot “trésor”, Albert l’évoque pour parler du journal de Candy, cependant elle décide de ne pas le garder près d’elle.
        La carte d’invitation et les coupures de journaux étaient probablement les seuls souvenirs de Terry que Candy voulait conserver.

        1. Ms Puddle

          Bonjour Antlay, 💗

          Yes I agree with you that Candy was only keeping Terry’s clippings and invitation card to Hamlet in her jewelry box. The fact that she didn’t keep her diary close to her speaks volumes indeed! 😜😉 If keeping anything related to Terry was too painful to Candy, why did she keep the newspaper clippings or the ticket to see Hamlet? 😅

          So you think Miss Baker didn’t tell Terry about sending an invitation to Candy. Interesting… She probably chose not to tell him about Candy’s presence in Rockstown either. In order not to upset him? I don’t know… What do you think, my friend? 😍

  9. Evelyn

    So I concur with Reeka on her second half of her post that the letter could be just a confirmation to Candy after the Rockstown incident. I have always believed that Eleanor told her son at some point that Candy was indeed at that theater, therefore triggering Terry to write to Candy that he was doing well and that he had not changed. Meaning he was just confirming to Candy that he was still pursuing his dream, passion and happiness as they both had promised to each other to be happy.

    Another possible interpretation that could be a desperate move on Terry’s behalf to reach out to Candy after their break up in NY in a vague and effortless attempt to see if she responded. When he does not hear from her and obviously not happy with his own life, he then disappears without a trace. The reason why I say this is because after Terry snaps back into his old self in Rockstown, reflecting on his own dream to be a successful actor, you can see him thinking and telling the reader how he ended up in this situation in the first place. After believing he had an hallucination of Candy, he admits he had reached rock bottom in his life after his decision for Susana over Candy, that he could not stay anymore by Susana’s side because he couldn’t get Candy out of his head, he then becomes an alcoholic. He admits he had become just like his father in the way he loved others. He had played with both Candy’s and Susana’s feelings and had not made neither one of them happy. Then he admits choosing Susana and decided to own up to his responsibility. From this point on, he decides to go back to Stratford!! He doesn’t even mention Susana first but his career in first place.

    So back to the short ambiguous letter, it could have been a last desperate attempt after the break up but I believe there is more to Terry’s emotions than just Candy. Think about it! This was a pretty abrupt and shocking way it all went down for all three of them. I believe Terry had already fallen for Susanna deep inside though he didn’t realize it yet. We see signs of this throughout interactions between T&S. After she confesses her love for him, Terry tells himself that she is not unpleasant to him. He also thinks that no matter what happens that he will always love Candy. This sounds to me that Terry already saw their end coming. I believe Candy was Terry’s first young love, thus holding a special place in his heart. As you said, Ms Puddle, Terry didn’t necessarily know how to handle this situation between Candy and Susana and clearly was confused with his own emotions. He could have clarified with Susana that he loved someone else but did not. He could have fought to be with Candy but did not. In the end it was Candy who rose above this situation as she could see right through Terry that he had already chosen Susana and simply made the decision for them. She is the one who took the first step to define their situation but she knew he had already chosen the other woman.

    About Terry living with Susana engaged but never married. I really do not believe they never consummated their relationship as man and woman. As you said, he surely developed deep feelings for her. She was already deeply in love with him so there isn’t an obstacle there for her. Why not have an intimate life just because you do not get married but they lived together knowing that at least one of them was deeply in love with the other. Not sure I agree with the idea that they never were intimate but this is just my humble opinion. 😉

    1. Evelyn

      Hello again my friend!! Just wanted to briefly add that I believe Terry truly cared and appreciated Susana for her unconditional love and sacrifice. Plus he already found her attractive to begin with. It was only logical and natural for Terry to choose her because his honor would not let him do otherwise. Yes he loved Candy for being his first young love and crush, but as you have always said they only had a limited time together at school with really not any substancial adult time and experiences spent together at all. Terry probably knew a lot more about Susana’s personal life than he knew about Candy’s life. So my point is that they had much more time and a stronger foundation to eventually fall in love with each other and thus decided to live together not just so he could help her out physically with her disability but to give her the physical and emotional love that she yearned from him as a mate. It would simply not be fair to Susana to not get Terry’s love as a man because that was the whole purpose of the two of them staying together. Thank you again for the opportunity my friend!! Sorry for my long post!!! 😘😄

      1. Ms Puddle

        You know, dear Evelyn, I agree with what you said about the relationship between Terry and Susanna. He knew her much, much better than he knew Candy, and vice versa. Whether they had got intimate or not as an engaged couple, it really doesn’t matter to me. However, there’s no denying that Terry was involved in taking care of Susanna, if not the only one living with her. She might have been ill for a long time, so she might be so weak that he had to do a lot of things to take care of her… It’s probably a matter of time before his feelings for her matured and blossomed. He might not love her the way he had loved Candy back in London, but to me, it was a kind of love as well. At least he stayed with her till the end, and by then she might have become far from beautiful due to prolonged suffering.

        1. Evelyn

          Yes dear Ms Puddle! You are absolutely right that Terry might not love Susanna like he loved Candy back in London. That was a youthful teenage love, if you will, after all. Terry’s love for Susanna might have blossomed into a more mature love just like Candy’s love for Albert and vice versa was a more mature love as well! You can certainly use the same standard other fans use to critique Candy/Albert’s relationship on Terry/Sussana’s relationship. A more calm and mature love.

    2. Ms Puddle

      Hola Evelyn!! 😍

      Hmmmm… I’m not sure if Terry would send this note after Rockstown… If so, he would have mentioned the encounter with Candy.

      I’m inclined to believe it was his attempt to reach Candy somehow some time after the break up… He’d wavered for so long though… Did Candy receive his letter? Did she reply? It’s not clear.

      He said he hadn’t changed at all is extremely ambiguous. I’ll talk more about that in Part 2 actually.

      My friend, I can’t agree with you more regarding Terry’s deep reflections after seeing Candy in Rockstown. Yes, it was his passion for drama that motivated him to go back to New York, and yet, in CCFS it’s written that he also returned to Susanna (whereas in the manga we aren’t sure). Therefore, I think Terry decided to keep his promise to the woman he had owed so much.

      About Susanna, she had always known the presence and importance of Candy, but her mother was unaware. Yet, Terry didn’t have the courage to speak up for Candy. Evelyn, you said it very well, that Candy was brave enough to take the first step, and her selfless act relieved Terry. He didn’t protest, which only confirmed her decision. I’ll answer your other comment later. 😘

  10. Anonymous

    Terry had been missing for how long before the Rockstown incident? So the letter should be after he returned from Rockstown and back to track on his career

    1. Ms Puddle

      Hi, interesting idea… I’d like to know your reasons.

      Terry had been missing for some months before Candy found him in Rockstown, at least according to the manga, but it’s unclear in CCFS. Possibly the same? 🙄

    2. Anonymous

      If he had been missing for several months before the Rockstown incident, plus the month(s) he broke up with Candy, then plus the time he rebuilt his career after returned from Rockstown, it was altogether almost one and a half year. So I am thinking Terry was missing Candy as he saw Candy in Rockstown and it was the main reason he felt shame and decided to returned to New York.

      1. Ms Puddle

        Interesting thoughts, and it seems more than one of you think Terry wrote this letter after seeing Candy in Rockstown. 😅

        Don’t know why, but I suppose he’d have sounded more emotional in his writing if he had indeed seen Candy, knowing that he had been depressed… 😫

        Of course, just my opinion 😁

  11. reeka

    Hahaha … you should be aware, my friend, that this topic would unleash the dragon inside me :D.

    What you present here, Ms Puddle, we’ve discussed it many many time. But believe me, I’ll be oh so willingly repeating it if necessary. This is a topic which needs a clear and thorough explanation so those who naively think Terry was the victim here could see it more rationally.

    I agree with what most of what Luna said. Though I must say, I don’t think Terry ever meant to throw a stone and hide his hand. He just simply did not have a courage to tell Candy the truth. Maybe … he hoped for some miracle happened in last minutes. Maybe for the very last time, he sincerely wanted so bad to see Candy again and feel the happiness she always carried along with herself. Terry was perhaps a selfish person at love/heart department, but he would never intentionally hurt Candy. — I don’t like and disapprove Terry’s treatment to Candy, but I’m trying to be fair here. He’s after all indeed a trouble teenager, growing up without role model and felt unloved.

    True, Ms Puddle, Susanna had never been portrayed as an evil character. She’s selfish. And like Luna said, she’s possessive toward Terry, even he’s not hers. I am not saying it is an okay attitude, but it is very much normal. Not to mention, she’s pictured as a very beautiful actress. Remember the character named Karen? She’s also beautiful, but it’s obvious that Susanna was at a different league that Candy herself said she had been jealous if it’s her who played Juliet. So why should Terry be immune to her beauty and charming persona, right?

    Like you’ve mentioned, maybe it’s not love, but definitely, with time, they would become good friends. And who could be so sure that Terry had never married Susanna because he didn’t want it? What if it was Susanna who didn’t want him marry her because anyway she knew she couldn’t give him what a wife should give to her husband? Her health had been deteriorating for years. She might not be able to get pregnant. With so many doses of drugs she had to consume, she could be unable to do sex either, right? And she knew by marrying her, Terry would be unfairly judged by public and media if he got it from other women. Well, with this point of view, we can see that Susanna was not an evil at all. Wasn’t she? 🙂

    So yeah … back to the infamous ambiguous letter, it’s definitely sent 1.5 years after the breakup. Just by reading the letter alone, – read it carefully, line by line-, it’s obvious he was not talking about Susanna’s breakup. Clearly, the way he was greeting her in the letter is not a greeting for two people who had been losing contact for … let’s say 5 years at the very least. If after Susanna’s death Terry really wanted to rekindle his relationship with Candy, I am sure he could find a more honourable way to contact her, instead of writing a letter he himself was unsure if it would reach her. He could go to Ardley mansion in Chicago or Pony’s home. If his love to Candy was so strong like how his fans always imagine, he should’ve moved heaven and earth to look for her. But no. Just like Luna said, he didn’t fight for Candy. He never did. Right? 😉

    Last, I agree with you Ms Puddle, about either Albert or Miss Baker would try to reunite them again after Susanna’s death. Albert … his willingness to sacrifice his happiness for Candy’s was clearly pictured in manga. He would do it again, I am positively sure about it. But let’s not talk about this. I can’t. With the epilogue of CCFS in my head, this whole scenario makes no sense at all. 🙂 We all know about Candy’s happiness. Heee Heee. 😀

    1. reeka

      Ms Puddle, I don’t know why it seems I was posting a video on my previous comment. Maybe you can help me edit it. I actually wrote :

      “So yeah … back to the infamous ambiguous letter, it’s definitely sent 1.5 years after the breakup. Just by reading the letter alone, – read it carefully, line by line-, it’s obvious he was not talking about Susanna’s breakup. Clearly, the way he was greeting her in the letter is not a greeting for two people who had been losing contact for … let’s say 5 years at the very least. If after Susanna’s death Terry really wanted to rekindle his relationship with Candy, I am sure he could find a more honourable way to contact her, instead of writing a letter he himself was unsure if it would reach her. ”

      Thank you, my friend.

    2. reeka

      Looks like you’ve fixed the trouble, Ms Puddle. Thanks.

      Before I go to sleep 😀 .. I want to add something about the brief letter. It WAS really brief to the point, for me, if my ex boyfriend who had not been in touch with me for some good years suddenly sent me this kind of letter … “I would find him and I would kill him!” ** I am playing Liam Neeson here** HAHAHA no, kidding. But really, … it’s so rude for me, like he thought he could break my heart, disappeared, and suddenly said hello and told me his feeling never changed. Yeah, right.

      Like you said, some fans who tend to believe this scenario, they actually give negative vibe to their own hero. And I believe, honestly believe, Mizuki would find a more honourable way for Terry to go back to Candy if Mizuki planned him as her ultimate happiness.

      1. Ms Puddle

        No I didn’t really fix it. I think it was a glitch 😏 but WordPress fixed itself. 😜

        It’s my honor that you still wanted to comment before bed. In fact, I couldn’t have said it better… You have nailed it, my friend. Terry was self-centered in his letter… Always about himself. Gimme a break… Candy had feelings and her own life… She deserved better treatment. Sigh. 🙁

    3. Ms Puddle

      Hello Reeka, I’ve been debating whether to discuss this letter again on my blog, but as I said, Adele’s song inspired me. 😆

      My sentiments exactly, my friend, that Terry wasn’t the only victim. They all were, three of them. Susanna wasn’t the culprit, and it was out of love that she pushed Terry away from danger. It wasn’t a manipulation, as many have accused. 😓

      Many also think her suicidal attempt was to manipulate Terry, but no… Sadly, just like you said, Terry had waited till the last minute, hoping for some miracle. Guess what? I bet Susanna must have seen through him, and that was why she chose the night of the premiere to die… When both Terry and Candy shouldn’t be around to rescue her.

      Right, Terry didn’t mean to hurt Candy at all… He himself had been troubled by the dilemma, struggling to find a way out for all three of them… Perhaps he thought Candy’s arrival would somehow help him? Just like Candy had helped him more than once back in London/Scotland. In a sense, Candy did give Terry a way out. She was the one who left him first. 😫

      Candy was honest about being jealous of Susanna… Of course, the rumors about Terry and Susanna had played an important part, and besides, Susanna had lied to Candy back in Chicago. As I said to Luna, Terry might eventually fall for Susanna if Candy hadn’t shown up in his life again. After all, he had given up Candy, leaving her without a trace.

      Great minds think alike! I have a strong feeling that Susanna could be the one who refused to marry Terry, not necessarily the other way around. Yet, he stuck with her till the end, and I think her obituary actually made him look like her true love.

      I can’t agree with you more! Terry should have employed a much better way to contact Candy… To do anything he could to woo her again… To prove himself worthy of her love, etc. Unlike Albert, Terry really hadn’t done anything substantial for Candy to make her happy… Not even back in London… Sigh… Scratching my head wondering why people claim that Terry was Candy’s grand love… 😌🙄

      1. reeka

        Yes, my friend, I agree with Luna and you, that if they had not briefly seen each other again in Chicago, Terry might eventually fall to Susanna. She was beautiful, feminine and soft spoken, and had similar passion with him.

        I said it before, with or without Susanna’s accident, I don’t think Candy and Terry could maintain their relationship farther than a couple of years. They would grow apart eventually. In the end, they would realise what they had had was only an adolescent love, full of passion maybe, but even their seemingly similar free spirit would not be going along side by side when they grew matured. We see Candy had become more matured and calmer, I think her job as a nurse helped her a lot. And I firmly believe, she wouldn’t survive showbiz’s lifestyle. I really can’t see her blend well with that kind of social circle.

        I’m trying not to mention Albert on my comments because I want to focus with the relationship of Candy-Terry- Susanna. Here I want to make people ( who still believe after this brief letter sent, Candy flew right away to Terry’s arms, that explained the absence of her reply), no matter what, the relationship between Candy and Terry had been finished long time ago in Rockstown.

        If this brief letter was really a hint from Mizuki for their reunion, … why made Terry seem unsure about this letter reaching Candy? Like … “oh if it reached her, good, hopefully she still loved me and wrote me back. If not, oh well, my bad.” — Jeez!!. Mizuki could make it like Terry sent a letter to Pony’s home addressed to Ms Pony/Sister Lane and told them to give his letter to Candy if they met her. It sounds more convinced, even though still lack of effort, considering this was a matter of the love of his life.

        You know, my friend, I still have a belief that this letter was not about Terry confessing his love had not changed. Remember I’ve told you once about it? That maybe he meant he as Terry had not changed at all. He was still the same old Terry she knew back in London and Scotland, who had great passion about theatre and shakespeare. Candy saw him miserable at Rockstown, he had felt ashamed it could be really her crying while watching him at that state ( maybe Ms Baker told him?). So after recovering and back to NY, near May, he remembered Candy. Perhaps he just wanted to tell her ” I was okay, I was back at my feet”.

        1. Ms Puddle

          Yes Reeka, I’m on your side about Terry and Susanna’s relationship prior to their performance in Chicago. They were coworkers after all, and he didn’t mind appearing with her to the fans like a couple. Even Susanna herself had been fantasizing about a future with him…

          Until Candy appeared… Only then Susanna learned that Terry had a crush elsewhere. Thus, I won’t say Terry was completely innocent… He didn’t do anything at all to clarify the rumors about him and Susanna.

          Yes, I am in total agreement with you concerning the prospect of Candy and Terry being in a long-term relationship… They had barely started, and the stolen kiss and bantering with each other was all they could remember. The good times spent in Scotland didn’t necessarily sustain a real-life relationship.

          That sorta explains why neither Terry nor Candy fought to stay together… They had been apart much longer than being together, so their relationship was extremely fragile, unable to deal with obstacles. 😓

          Indeed, Terry could have sent a letter to Pony’s Home or Ardlay’s mansion. There must be a way to reach Candy. His mother could do it, so why couldn’t he? 🙄

          Or he could go to Chicago to track her down. If she was truly the love of his life, he would have done everything he could to find Candy. No cost is too big, right? 😏

  12. Luna

    Hello dear ❤️Ms Puddle
    I like what you wrote and I believe that this is the best explanation about Terry s letter. Thank you very much for this post.

    Well, in my opinion, we should think about what happened after the accident. We know he did say anything about it to her. He could have stopped her before her coming to New York..but he didn’t do it. Importantly , he had already taken his decision before she arrived. When she found out wht was going on, he did let ( implicitly push) her to take the final decision about their relation. It is something like that Candy ended and Candy didn’t fight. So he did a very brilliant act but at the end which was not innocent as that. 🙄
    …and sending this letter after all these things happened gives me the impression that he is still behind his decision and somehow he is making himself and Candy feeling sure about that it was the best decision. Nothing less or more🙄.
    And lastly, I always believe that he liked Susanna from the very beginning. As you said the accident proved how much her love was deep for him. I believe also this accident was showing that how much she was possessing him. As we know, he is a very possessive character. Shortly, she was acting exactly like him and I don’t remember if Candy ever had acted in a such way. Many common points for Susanna and Terry ‘s reunion but there is nothing concerning Candy. ..

    This is what I’m thinking… I really don’t like this character a lot. I would say in some points Neal is better than him. At least he tried…
    Greetings ❤️
    Luna

    1. Ms Puddle

      Bonjour Luna, it’s nice to hear from you again! 😘

      I’m glad you found my post interesting, and you must know that this particular letter is the most controversial topic of CCFS. 😁 To me, those who consider it as one solid ‘proof’ for Terry to be Anohito can’t be more wrong. 😉

      I totally agree with you that Terry had been wavering after the accident… His head knew he had no choice but to stick with Susanna, but he didn’t have the heart or courage to break the news to Candy ahead of time or even stopped her from coming to New York…

      Yes, Candy later discovered the sad reality the most dramatic way possible, and you’re right, Luna, that Candy understood Terry’s dilemma and realized he had already chosen Susanna. So in a sense, Candy was forced to sacrifice herself. Right, she didn’t fight, and neither did Terry.

      I’ll talk a bit more about Terry’s intention of his letter in Part 2. 😃

      Like you, I believe, over time, Terry could have developed feelings for the beautiful actress. As you said, they have shared more common traits than he and Candy. Besides, he had apparently made up his mind to leave everything in London behind, including Candy. No he didn’t love Candy as much as his fans have claimed.

      Hence, that explains why Terry didn’t really reject Susanna or make any attempts to clarify the rumors between them.

      Greetings to you too 😍

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